Me: Hey dude, what's up?
My Brother Nolan: Not much. What's up with you?
Me: Nuthin'. Just driving home from a meeting, thought I'd call to say hi.
Nolan: Right on.
Me: How's Brody?
Nolan:*some sort of russling commotion* hang on a sec.
Nolan: Okay, sorry about that.
Me: What are you doing?
Nolan: Wiping my ass.
What?!? Wait, are you taking a shit while talking to me?
Me: Do you always talk on your phone when you deficate?
Nolan: I do my best work in here. Hang on, gotta flush.
Nolan: Okay, I'm back.
Me: Where ARE you?
Nolan: At lunch.
Me: Like, at a resturant? You were taking a shit...at a resturant...while talking to me on the phone?
Nolan: Yeah. They got chicken wings. *washes hands...I think*
Me: Is that music I hear in the background?
Nolan: Yeah. Everybody Wang Chung Tonight.
Because anything else would be just weird.