Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Home and Away

I made it home from Kansas late Saturday night, and will be leaving for Houston in just a few hours to be with the Man for New Years.

I know my posting has been woeful as of late, and I am barely scratching the surface of reading what's up in the lives of my fellow bloggers (what with all my jet setting and renewed addiction to spin class and cookie binges - the last two being closely related), but hopefully once I return on Thursday, life may start to return to normal.

Whatever that is, anyway.

Have a great new years, and see you on the other side!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Hitting the Road

First and foremost, I must acknowledge Monday's BadAss Award winner - it's would be my sister, Devin, who actually went to the Bears game and STAYED FOR THE WHOLE THING.

Why is this an accomplishment?

Because it was 3 degrees, with sub-zero windchill (and its on the lake, so you know there was wind, and our season ticket seats face north, right into the wind - lovely). And it went into overtime. So that's like, oh, four hours in Arctic weather.

Coldest home game on record.

Oh, and they won.

Sorry you had to stay up late and watch the Packer defeat, Clyde.

So sorry.

But well done Devin - if you weren't already the toughest bitch I know, I would actually send you a trophy to add to you growing collection.

But onto other badasses-

As been abundately clear lately, I can barely manage to throw up post as regularly as I used to, what with these last several months being stupid busy.

Needless to say, my blog reading has been even less stellar.

Okay, virtually no existent.

So imagine my surprise when I backlogged last night and saw PRs, new babies, and all sorts of glory.

Maybe I need to pull my head out of my own ass instead of bagging on DP's new lady to do that, and keep up with the blog world.

Gosh guys - I am sorry I suck so bad.

My NY resolution is to get back on the ball with the happenings of the blog world.

Having sad that, though, I am leaving for my annual trip to Kansas and I have taken a cue from Steph and I am not taking my computer.


No blog, no FB, no nothing for five days.

Just me, Cheese's family, and some apple pie.

And I kinda LIKE that idea....

Well, mostly the apple pie part.

So to everyone out there - many many blessed wishes in the next few days! See ya when I get back!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Needed Intervention

Common Sense called.

It said, "Stop shopping - you filled your Christmas list weeks ago, and you don't need any more tee-shirts/shoes/jeans for yourself."

I said, "What do you know? Mind your own business and go bother some poor soul giving a beat-down to an eldery to get at that last Wii for their spoiled child. Trust it, there's a Wal-Mart somewhere in far more desperate need of your assistance right now."

Common Sense replied, "So that's how it is, huh? Not gonna listen? I got somethin' for you."

At at 8am, there was a knock on my door.

I opened it to find Mother Nature standing there.

And before I could invite her old ass in for a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee, She silenced me with her -3 degrees temperature/-30 windchill breath.

And through the death chill, I faintly heard the words, "Shop this, bitch."

'Nough said.

Pass the hot chocalate and the remote.

Friday, December 19, 2008

It's wet, mushy, and slushy here today.

And my main man just left for stint in Houston.

Figures - home and on the couch for a month, then shipped off to TX days before Christmas.

Well,, at least they'll send him home to Kansas for the big day.

And in the meantime, I have the house to myself.

What to do....?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

I Am Starting To Realize I Complain Whole Bunches

So Is That Good?
Have you ever had a workout so hard that you actually felt you might throw up, even like, five hours later?



Not the throw up.

The good workouts.


There’s Always One Idiot
And in your “WTF” news installment for the day, Drew Peterson is engaged.

Oh yeah - that would be the same guy who is suspect of killing his old lady.

And by old lady, I mean young, 23-year old fourth wife.

Oh, and his third wife too.

So who's the new lucky lady?

Another 23-year-old.

Who he has dated for 4 months.

And for as big an ass as Mr. Peterson is, I have to wonder about the lady-child who dates and accepts a marriage proposal from the man suspected of killing his last two wives.

Oh yeah – she’s got a 5-year-old by another man.

I mean, it’s one thing to test the Fate Gods by naked humping a suspected killer, and frankly put your own life on the line – but introduce your kid to this guy??!!!

Not to be a bitch, but is her head up her ass?

Like, really.

(Okay, I know, I know – guilty until proven innocent….riiiiight. I think the only one sticking by this possibility is The Fire, and that's only because he likes playing Devil's Advocate, and quite literally in this case. Sorry, Fire, but it's true. Don't run from it.)

I bet if Ms. Soon-To-Be-At-The-Bottom-of-the-Cal-Sag was interviewed, no doubt she’d give these genius statements like Drew Peterson “is misunderstood…unfairly judged...a really nice sensitive guy…innocent.”

My gosh – I mean, part of me wants to feel bad for her, but then again – WHY?

She’s a grown-ass woman making a very poor decision - and with a KID.

So to Victim #5, I say, “Good luck with that.”

Kill Me Now
World’s worst feeling?

Setting up your morning coffee – the night before – and realizing there’s none left.

That the only thing in the fridge is the Dunkin Donuts DECAF you bought for your caffeine-challenged, borderline elderly mother.

Now how on earth can I be expected to move a bowel off of decaf?!?!?!

Forget even shooting a neuron or two.

And no morning coffee run with the snow storm heading our way in oh…right about now.

Hang on to your sports bras ladies, this could get ugly…

It's Britney, Bitch
Listen, I'm all for a "comeback," but is it me, or do all of Britney Spears’s new songs sounds like they are all sung by “Wall-E?”

Hey, don't get me wrong - I still pump out a good car-dance/head bop to "Circus."

Sure, it's no "Slave 4 U," but it'll do.

But could she at least try to sing, and not be the vocal equivilant of the guy from South Park who speaks with a voice box?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Another Piece of Sweetness

The Fire and his badass wife, B, welcomed their bundle of sweetness into this world yesterday.

World, meet Judith Frances. Judith Frances, meet the blog world.

I am sure your big brother, Baby Terry, can't wait to meet you!

BL - All Winners

Well, all told – it’s hard to bag on a bunch of people who collectively unloaded over 1000 pounds.

I mean, most of them looked SMOKIN’!

Heba, Ed, Shalley and of course, her daughter Aimee, Colleen’s dad (I expected a bit more from Colleen though), and Amy and Phil – WHOA!

Red dress = Upgrade!

LT seems to have forgotten the BL would be checking back with him. I mean, don’t get me wrong – 87 pounds is no small bag of potatoes, but when you are tipping upwards of almost 4 bills, 87 pounds over the course of all that time is like a missed McMuffin and side of hash brown for that morning's breakfast. Especially when you have people pulling total numbers consistently over 100.

(Note: I am not minimizing the epic difficulty of weight loss, considering I have been trying to lose the same 10 pounds for four months now – point is, everyone else that got sent home around their time seems to have stuck with it and its surprising that he pulled such low numbers for his weight. That is all. Please, no hate mail. My cellulite can't handle it.)

And I have no real words for Vicki except – Congrats, you didn’t fall on the floor…yes, you are still likely ugly on the inside…good luck trying to maintain post-show because no you have no incentive to workout twice daily….etc.

She did what she set out to do, and while it didn’t bag her the quarter of a million, I hope at least she took away some good baked chicken recipes, and a new found love for broccoli and Extra gum.

Unlikely. But that’s her battle, not mine.

Mine is tucked deep inside my saddle bags and THUT.

But you know what would be awesome? A one/two year follow up! Like a HUGE reunion show - a "Where are they now?" for all the past contestents.

See, that to me would be the inspiring part. How do these people do it once they go back to real life?

I mean, put anyone on a secluded ranch with top-notch trainers and the ability to work out 8 hours a days, and you would be hard pressed to find someone that fails that task.

But life a real life, with a real job, and real responsibilities, and try keeping to a fitness and eating schedule to maintain that - now THAT is the challenge.

I would like to hear how people do it - if they are doing it.

Nonetheless- good show. Like to see people overcome the things they never thought they could. Like Michelle- I believe her when she says "I know I can do anything now."

Yeah, I've felt that way before...back in April.

It's a good feeling.

A GREAT feeling.

Well done, BL contestents.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Will You Be Watching?

BL tonight, bitches.

Expect commentary.

Lots of it.

Especially if you-know-who wins.

To be continued....

Monday, December 15, 2008

Random Picture

Forgot to mention that we went the Bears game last Thursday. Yeah, it was stupid cold. And of course, game went into overtime. Just my luck. I almost threw up my peanuts and hot pretzel when that happened. I guess it wouldn't have been so bad had my feet not been standing on iced over concrete for four hours...in running shoes.

Just how cold was it? When we left at 11pm, it was 22 degrees, with a 9 degree windchill. Not too horrible if the game lasted ten minutes, but no - it went every bit of 4 HOURS.

But, considering the 6 degree day we have here today, it was like Spring. So I guess I need to STFU.

Or move.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

You Can't Always Get What You Want

So goes the trials and tribulations of wedding planning.

After coming to realization that, no matter how we crunch our numbers, I was not going to be getting the barn/backyard/garden/ wedding filled with all sorts of DIY personal touches (or at least one in the urban landscape of Chicago…in September…and relatively close to hotels for the many out-of-towners…with access to public transportation…oh yeah, and within our budget), Cheese and I stumbled upon a site I had previously ruled out for some reason.

It’s a restaurant – not a banquet hall or ballroom – but an actual Italian restaurant, tucked away in the middle of a residential street in Lincoln Park. The site is surrounded by brownstones, and walk-ups, and single family homes.

For a ridiculously reasonable cost, we would have access to the main room, bar, and patio. The smaller dining room would then be used for the band.

That is, assuming we can find a band within our budget, but I think we may have just ran out of Wedding God favors.

Oh yeah, and we would also be having the ceramony there as well.

And is not a big restaurant – rather, it’s small, intimate, different. So at least it keeps with the feel of what I was going for.

Given the size (of venue and budget), we are sticking with our original guest list of immediate family. Again, I like this idea as well – I am crazy grateful that we didn’t have family members trying to interfere and tell us who we need to invite, or having to give out the obligatory invites to relatives we haven’t seen since we were 10, or friends of parents we don’t even know.

I like to be able to keep it simple.

No drunk cousins, no crazy pervert uncles, no fake smiles to people I have never met or can't stand.

Just my family, and those I considered as like.

That’s good.

So how far away is it from my original wedding fantasy? What are the things I had to give up? Well, instead of having my Chicago-style food I was hoping for, it will likely be pretty much your typical wedding food. Blech. I LOATHE this idea.

And of course, no garden with the wind gently whispering through the trees and swaying my dress as I glide down the isle.

No dancing under the stars.

No smell of a warm late-summer night as the lingering guests sit around on lawn chairs under colorful lanterns, sipping cocktails and laughing until the police show up (although there is a pretty garden patio…)

But what do I get?

They provide at all - food, beverage, staff, valet, set up, take down – pretty much everything you can think of – and the ceremony would be on site too. No need to deal with separate caterers, linen rental, hidden costs, weather fears, need for Plan B in case of rain, staff hassles, or refrigeration concerns.

I would pretty much just have to show up in my party dress - which, being the lazy anti-bride that I am, could not be better.

I guess in the end my biggest concern was making it as stress free, easy and fun for the guests as well – most of whom are from out of town. And this place does that for me.

And, it’s in a location that, if people wanted to continue the party afterwards, it means a two block walk to just about any type of bar you want.

Now, it is certainly a far cry from the garden bride I was saw myself as, but when it comes down to it, I would much rather prefer as little drama and room for disaster as possible.

And with this one-stop-shop, I pretty much get this security.

And let’s be honest people – I never really saw myself as a bride in the first place. So I can let go of my “whimsical breezy garden party” fantasy and be okay with my mahogany walled, Chicago Italian restaurant.

After all, in my heart of hearts – I am a Chicago gal, perhaps more so than I will ever be that “garden barn” girl.

And if nothing else, the wedding weekend will scream Chicago.

Oh, and lastly – it’s on a Sunday. I know, kinda weird – but it was the only way we were going to be able to get a mid-September date (try getting a Saturday date in Chicago before November and you’ll be shit out of luck).

But I have also come to love this idea as well. I figured – hey – people were going to take Friday off of work anyways, so why not just switch it for Monday? That way, Cheese’s family and grooms party can hit the Cubs game that Saturday afternoon before the rehearsal dinner/backyard BBQ at my sister’s house, and then do the wedding on Sunday.

So that's that with the wedding. Now I don't have to think about it for another five months...at least...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

And Speaking of D-Bags....

"Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich arrested, charged"

And in case you weren't totally sure about how corrupt the politics in Illinois are:

"Robert Grant, FBI special agent in charge of the Chicago office, characterized Illinois' place in the pantheon of political corruption."If it isn't the most corrupt state in the United States, it's certainly one hell of a competitor," Grant said. "Even the most cynical agents in our office were shocked." "

US Attorney Pat Fitzgerald, the man who brought down this case against "Blago," amongst others including Rezko (if you are not familiar with this name, you haven't been paying attention...), was once defended by President-elect Obama, and rightly so. This man has spend his career fighting the big machines - Republican and Democrat - and finally winning.

He was also behind the recent conviction of our other Governor - George Ryan (oh, what a proud day!). You know -the one Sen. Dick Durbin is now trying to get clemency for. Yeah, now there's a real stand up guy - the Feds actually convict a repulsively guilty man, and now one of our Senators wants to give him clemency.


But mark my words - despite being the successful champion of anti-corruption in Illinois, Mr. Fitzgeralds's days are numbered.


Because with Blago charged and about to sing the sweetest song you've ever heard, Rezko about to be sentenced, and Fitzgerald one step closer to the Daley machine - we are about to see just how far the tentacles of corruption reach.

I'll give you a hint - it's far beyond the city limits of Chicago and the state of Illinois. And I can not imagine that anyone is going to let Fitzgerald get any closer then he already is. In fact, I believe that it is the President who has the say over what happens to Fitzgerald - and Bush almost ousted him once before.

So it leaves me to wonder - will Obama (whose many cronies/links have now been charged/convicted) still be Fitzgerald's ally? Still rally for "change?" Still support the expulsion of corruption in government?

How far will he let Fitzgerald's long arm of the law reach before he chops it off?

(P.S. Fitzgerald is a notorious non-partisan, so he doesn't exclusively go after one party or another. Breaking the law is breaking the law, no matter who does it.)

(And P.P.S. Please don't put words in my mouth here - I am not claiming that Obama had any knowlege of the Pay-for-the-Senate-Seat. There is no evidence of that. Rather, I speak of the deep-rooted corruption rampant throughout all Illinois state and federal level officials. Trust it - there is plenty more to the story then the Senate Seat part of it, though the Seat story is really bad)

Then again, maybe he'll continue to support the takedown of the Bad, in support of the Good.

I mean, not every politician who climbs the ranks of the most corrupt state in the union (30 aldermen and 3 governors convicted of criminal wrongdoing) is bad, right?

So let's see how this plays out.

On one hand I would like to believe that Rezko was the first domino to fall, Blago the next, and so on, until the game is over. I would like to be believe that at some point, you won't be able to "pay to play" here anymore.

But part of me knows better - the part that has been a lifelong Chicago, Illinois citizen knows that certain people will be untouchable, and those that lead the way in fighting the corruption will see an end to their good deeds.

And at the end of the day, it's fucking sad.

Sad for these families (Blago has two small children); sad for the people that want to live in a state that refuses to play by the rules, but intead the rules they make up as they go along; sad for a society that stops asking questions and starts justifying this crap, or has lived with it for so long we just stop fighting.

As for me, I am just glad that for today, we still have some people with integrity fighting the good fight.

(Update: I am watching tv coverage of this circus, and I also find it laughable that every politician in the state is now coming for ward talking about how horrible this is - politicians that have both party and personal ties to the Govenor - fucking ridiculous.)

Monday, December 8, 2008


How I lived so long without ever stumbling on this site is a mystery known only to the Man Above.

BE WARNED, though. Some of the pics are NotSafeForWork.

While the 2008 elections of the Biggest DBwHC is currently ensuing, make sure to check the sidebar for the 2007 Winners.

That is my gift to you today.


Saturday, December 6, 2008

Nawing at My Insides

Guess what I leaned on Thursday?
That even if you are only driving 100 yards, you need to wear your seatbelt.

Or pay the State of Illinois $95, and give up a Saturday for traffic school.

Scribble that down, stick it on the tack board, and NEVER FORGET IT.

Ho Ho Fucking Ho
So we had our team Christmas party.

It was actually quite nice.

Well, of course, that’s despite that fact that I somehow (accidently?) got left off the email list for the group gift to my boss.

I sure it has nothing to do with the fact that one of my screeners has been shit-talking the piss out of me to anyone who listen – and oh, they’ve been listening. You know, because she doesn’t like the way I..uh..supervise? Make sure she meets her deadlines? Shows up for work?

The nerve of me.

Whatever. So they “forgot” to ask me to participate.


Okay, back to my story. So we all had to bring a $10 gift for our grab-bag person, and then a White Elephant gift (aka whatever piece of crap you find at the back of your closet to bestow without remorse on some poor co-worker in the name of yuletide cheer).

Okay, okay – before I go any further, let me say this – I love giving presents, but I HATE gift giving for the sake of gift giving. I hate that part of Christmas where you rush through the stores, trying to find a sweater, or scarf, or some Old Navy pjs, or some other sort of crap that the recipient could very easily buy hismelf.

If I am going to give a gift, I prefer it to be personal, meaningful.

Perhaps something that you remembered your beloved saying that he wanted six months ago, or something that you know he could really use but won’t buy himself.

Something that, when they open it, your heart wants to burst as much as his does.

Yeah, I like giving those gifts.

For example, my family has decided not to exchange gifts this year – mostly because we all have what we want. And if we don’t, we can just get in our cars, drive to the Gap, and get it ourselves.

So instead, we just had a lovely dinner the other night. Good food, good company – a true reminder of how blessed I am.

So back to this whole idea of $10 gifts – I mean, really. First off, what can you possibly get for $10, and for a person you know virtually nothing about? If I am absolutely forced to engage in this nonsense, I would much rather prefer a gift card to say, Target, because I know I will use it.

And hey, with Cheese around all the time now, I am finding I spend an inordinate amount of time in the toilet paper/wet wipes isle at the Big Red Bulls Eye in the Sky.

So I got our administrative assistant in the grab-bag, and my boss told me she likes to drink coffee from a particular food establishment, so coffee gift card is what I gave to my Grab-Bag person. Creative? No. But at least she could use it. And multiple times, at that.

The gift that keeps on giving.

And you know what I got?

Foot lotion and foot scrub.

Or some shit.

I can’t really tell, as I didn’t all to much look direct at it in its plastic packaging that like came straight from the Walgreens about an hour earlier – or even perhaps was being re-gifted from last year.

Come to think of it – definitely re-gifted.

I was so much rather have received nothing then this.

And the worst part is that it came from another supervisor – one of many who I have done countless numbers of favors for – both her and the people she supervises.

And before I am misunderstood – please hear this – I am not bitching about getting a shitty gift (thoughtless, maybe) – but rather, I am bitching about how, during this Christmas season, there is this oppressive forced giving-for-the-sake-of-giving shit.

I mean, I don’t care about the $10 - but for what? Why couldn’t we have just tossed the ten bucks in an envelope for the next staff meeting, and bought everyone lunch? Hell, that could have bought us lunch for the next TWO staff meetings!

To me, these little grab-bag deals are such a waste of time and energy and funds. And what you end up with a bunch of crap.


Like foot lotion.

From Walgreens.

But on the bright side, we also had to bring the White Elephant gift we had to bring that acted as prizes for our Bingo game.

And you know what I came home with?

A huge ceramic white bowl that says “Popcorn” on the side.

First off – SCORE!

Second off – who would WANT to get rid of this piece of art?

I mean sure – I came this/close to losing it to another supervisee for some used (yes, you read that right – USED) cloth napkins. But as if Santa himself wiggled his large bulbous nose and sprinkled some elfin magic dust over the group – I Bingo’d again, and managed to win back the white pot of glory.

Yeah, I got the stink eye after that, but I didn’t fucking care – the supervisee I won it from was the woman who organized the Boss Gift.

So those are my Jingle Bells in a nutshell.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Good and Bad

First off, I missed BL last night because I went out and stuffed myself silly with Mexican food with my family. Who got kicked off?

Also if you do nothing at all for the next day, do this : SIGN UP FOR NETFLIX.

Holy 21st century, I have arrived.

Not only have we had a movie or series to watch everyday for the last two weeks, you barely have to do anything expect for click your mouse to get it.

And most of the thie movies you can stream right through your computer!

I mean - it's like when we first got DVR - I'm watching shit I would have never dreamed of before!


And dropping the disk off at the mailbox so we can get another ASAP is great incentive to get Cheese out of the house for four minutes every other day.

So we all win.

Okay, so now for the nitty gritty.

The BAD:

So right before I headed out to go to my 6-month follow-up kidney appointment this morning(which is coming at a good time, as I haven’t been feeling so hot for the last two months, and I'm not preggers but something certainly is taking over my body, it’s a good time to check things out, you know?), I was going through my Facebook pictures and tagging some photos I have had in my photo app.

And you know what I discovered?

My Kidney Brother de-friended me.

Ain’t that some shit?

Lemme tell ya what I think happened.

See, Cheese invited my whole family to the surprise engagement two months ago. Kidney Brother never showed.

He was then invited to the Marathon CarboLoad Dinner/Impromptu Engagement Party the following night. He never showed.

Finally, he was invited to a pizza night when my other brother came to town about a week later.

No show again.

Now, mind you, this is the same brother who, before getting my kidney, had a really sketchy history with my family, was a pretty unhappy, angry, distant and psychologically impaired person. But yet he always talked about wanting to get closer to my family.

So he gets my organ, then doesn’t bother to show up for any family event since.

And he has still never met Cheese, the man I am going to marry.

So after the no-shows in October, I sent him an email and was basically like, “Whatever, I’m pissed.” He sent an email back, blamed my mom for everything – something about missed text messages or voicemail or something – just like he always does.

Everything is always someone else’s fault - the whole world is conspiring against him. What a fucking surprise.

And then at some point, that asshole de-friended me.

Because I called him out on being a meanie.

I don’t know what I ever expected would change, and I am a little pissed at myself that this even bothers me. I mean, I sort of always knew he would put up this “Look at me, I’m a new man with a new perspective” face on for a while, but in the absence of any real therapy or internal self-improvement, of course nothing was going to change in the heart of his personality.

Whatever. Fuck him.

Moving on to The Good:

On the upshot, I found out that I got taken off the waiting list for the Hustle Up the Hancock, and am now going to do the full climb!

That’s 94 floors, bitches!

Oh glorious Hustle!

And Need Some More Good?

Comm recently posted about it being the Chritmas season, and giving more of ourselves. Then I read on Mommymeepa's blog that she is taking it step further and made a list of things she intends to do every day for someone else.

And since I love a good challenge, I am going to challenge myself to do something outside of myelf each day, starting with this month, and then hopefully beyond this month.

'Cause let's be honest, I really can get pretty consumed with my own BS sometimes.

So check out their blogs and see what they are doing.

I'll let you know what I decide for myself.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Eff It

So for right now, until Blogger can get a better handle on the whole "private" thing, I am taking it off.

I don't know what happened, but when I switched it back on a couple of weeks ago, it seemed to have dropped a bunch of people.

And I feel really bad if people think that I for some reason locked them out - so for now, we are public.

And considering my irregular lack of posting lately, I would be surprised if anyone even read this shit anymore.

And I just need to regularly Google myself to make sure I am unfindable.

Hey, anyone else have ideas beyond Google? Any other search engines to find the unfindable? Just trying to erase myself....