Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Less Than a Week

I sort of have to laugh at it all.

For the last several weeks, minus a couple of hiccups, the whole wedding this has really gone of without a hitch.

I even started to joke that I was stressed about not being stressed.

Since my last post, we have really made an effort to eliminate unnecessary details, both for the unneeded stress it all brings, and (let’s be honest), it was just too much work and I am lazy.

(See also: programs. Yeah, those died a slow death yesterday when I said, “Eh, who cares. Every one knows everyone already, right?”)

Very quickly after that post all those weeks ago, I freed myself of the “what everyone else wants” and “what will people think” thoughts, and just did things my own way.

Costco/Whole Foods flowers for centerpieces and bridal party, with my sister heading up the actual designing? Check. (And the trial runs are gor-geous)

Invites I made by hand? Check.

Favors that consist of homemade chocolate chip cookies in handmade bags? Check.

Vases that were borrowed or bought second-hand because I will likely never use them again so why pay full-price? Check.

In the end, the actual setting (dark, wooded, small, intimate) will speak for itself in terms of décor, so we tried to keep all the “extra” down to a minimum.

Oh, and I let go of the reigns for the rehearsal dinner, which is a backyard BBQ at my sister Ellen’s house, hosted by Cheese’s parents.

So nice not to have plan something else!

The only time I felt like the wheels were starting to fall off the wagon was Sunday, when Cheese got a call on Sunday from his friend who is performing the ceremony, saying that he may not be able to make, what with his kids having the SWINE FLU and all.

And then there is the rain expected on Saturday for the BBQ.

Oh, and the fact that my dress still doesn’t fit exactly right.

But in the grand scheme of wedding world, these issues are so insignificant, it’s not even hardly worth mentioning them at all.

So fingers crossed, we should be heading down that isle in just a few days. There may be a nip-slip involved, but that’s out of my hands right now.

The toughest thing I did, however, was make the decision not to invite the kidney brother.

I agonized over this – many nights I cried in frustration, but ultimately it came down to this:

He has not contacted me once in the 18 months since the surgery. He has ignored all requests made by the family to participate in events, and has never offered to meet my fiancé. My final opinion on it was this: he has made the decision to not participate in my life, whatever his reason, so I am no longer going to force myself down his throat.

It sucks, but I am surrounded by the most incredible family ever day of life – I no longer am going to worry about someone that doesn’t care about me. I am at peace that I did my part for the relationship, and I can’t force effort on his end.

That aside, things have flowed fairly well. We have stayed budgeted (trust it – no small task in the wedding world of “tradition” and “must-do’s”). We are well-organized (me and my trusty folder). And I have an army of family that jump whenever I say, “Eh, why bother with x-y-z?”

In the end, it might not be the fanciest affair (MUCH to my mother’s chagrin), but it is all Megan-and-Cheese.

It is simple and homemade, with splashes of bold.

It is small in size, but with tons of heart behind it.

It is filled with candy and sweets (would you expect anything less from ME?)

It’s extremely sentimental in a lot a ways, and we both expect there to be a lot of happy tears.

Just ask both of our mothers, who have collectively cried probably everyday in the last two weeks.

I shouldn’t poke fun, as I find myself brought to tears almost daily over some aspect of this – and not in a bad way. It’s not stressed related – rather, I find myself wonderfully overwhelmed with happiness that it feels like my chest is just going to break open.

I cry when I think about the enormity of marriage, the decision I am making, the changes in my life that are coming. And it shocks me, at times, at how happy I am about it all – the girl who loves her solitude, who never wanted to get married, who was just fine and dandy chillin’ and doin’ her own thing.

That girl is about to get married, and she's really kinda freaking excited about it.


Erin said...

I'm so excited for you guys! Congrats and have a fantastic day!

Stef said...


So very happy and excited for you!!!! Sounds like everything (including that hard decision)came from your heart. How can you go wrong with that? It's simple: you can't.

ALL THE BEST for you guys on your wedding day! Can't wait to see photos!!!


Amy said...

Super duper excited. You are going to have the best day ever. Don't worry about the guests just have a blast and they will too.

As for the marriage itself. It's just life but with a fancy coffee maker... or at least that's how it is for us. And of course the realization that you get to share all the most amazing days and events and moments with a person you love and cherish and think is the bee's knees and who loves and cherishes you and thinks that you are the cat's pjammas even when you are sweaty and dirty or sick and pathetic.

Vertical Man said...

I'm forwarding this post to each of my 4 daughters, none of whom are married (yet) but all of whom could use a lesson in "...why worry about x, y and z, just skip it!" Oh yeah, and the Whole Foods and Costco shopping thing. Brilliant!

Alili said...

So excited for you!! Have a wonderful wedding, but more importantly here's to a fabulous forever. :)

xt4 said...

Fantastic. Have a GREAT weekend and a lovely wedding, I'm very happy for you. Can't wait to read the race report! ;)

suzncasey said...

So wonderful!!!!
Congrats to you and the Cheese!!

suzncasey said...

So wonderful!!!!
Congrats to you and the Cheese!!

Carolina John said...

sweet! enjoy the wedding day. it's going to be something really special that you will always treasure. I hope everything goes well.

Tri-Angle said...


Tyger Lily said...

Your wedding sounds perfect Meg! Heartfelt wishes and prayers to you and your family.


Krista said...

I had the same issues last year for our wedding. On your day nothing else will matter other than you and your husband. My one piece of wedding advice is to make sure you find a little bit of time to sneak away, just the two of you!

21stCenturyMom said...

Way to go, Megan!! Really way to go. People will love, love, love your wedding because it will be all you all the time with none of the 'supposed to' crap messing it up. So excited for you.

As for the kidney brother - way to go on that, too. He's been ungrateful about you sharing your body so there's no reason to share your happiness because clearly he won't. For whatever reason he's made the choices he's made and he is reaping the consequences and that's okay. This is YOUR day and it's going to be fabulous.

Mommymeepa said...

I absolutely love this post.
Congrats to you and Cheese.
I am so happy for you both.
I wish the best to you for many, many years to come and then some.

About your brother, even though it was hard, you made the right decision. He has made no effort and with that in mind would you really want him there? It might just end up being a scene. In my new journey of change I have realized that I can't worry about what people think and I can't worry about those things I can't change. Looks like you gotta handle on both of those. Good Job!!!

Love ya.

rUntoNamAste said...

What a beautiful post! Congrats to the both of you and I am certain that you are going to have the best wedding. Ever!

To new beginnings...

Danielle said...

Today's the day! I just wanted to wish you luck and tell you I'm so happy for you!


T. said...

I know I have dropped off blogland for a bit but just popping in to give one hell of a Congratulations and I am SOOOOO excited for you. Kinda brings tears to my eyes...my pseudo-sister on the internet. I think if we lived nearby we would def. be great friends!
Good luck and I am so proud of you for keeping it "real" Megan-Cheese way.

Erin said...

Hope it was amazing! Now, PICTURES!!!!

prin said...

How did I not comment?!

Well, all I can say now is I'm really proud of you. You're an inspiration of strength and perseverance yet again.

Thanks for being awesome.