I sort of have to laugh at it all.
For the last several weeks, minus a couple of hiccups, the whole wedding this has really gone of without a hitch.
I even started to joke that I was stressed about not being stressed.
Since my last post, we have really made an effort to eliminate unnecessary details, both for the unneeded stress it all brings, and (let’s be honest), it was just too much work and I am lazy.
(See also: programs. Yeah, those died a slow death yesterday when I said, “Eh, who cares. Every one knows everyone already, right?”)
Very quickly after that post all those weeks ago, I freed myself of the “what everyone else wants” and “what will people think” thoughts, and just did things my own way.
Costco/Whole Foods flowers for centerpieces and bridal party, with my sister heading up the actual designing? Check. (And the trial runs are gor-geous)
Invites I made by hand? Check.
Favors that consist of homemade chocolate chip cookies in handmade bags? Check.
Vases that were borrowed or bought second-hand because I will likely never use them again so why pay full-price? Check.
In the end, the actual setting (dark, wooded, small, intimate) will speak for itself in terms of décor, so we tried to keep all the “extra” down to a minimum.
Oh, and I let go of the reigns for the rehearsal dinner, which is a backyard BBQ at my sister Ellen’s house, hosted by Cheese’s parents.
So nice not to have plan something else!
The only time I felt like the wheels were starting to fall off the wagon was Sunday, when Cheese got a call on Sunday from his friend who is performing the ceremony, saying that he may not be able to make, what with his kids having the SWINE FLU and all.
And then there is the rain expected on Saturday for the BBQ.
Oh, and the fact that my dress still doesn’t fit exactly right.
But in the grand scheme of wedding world, these issues are so insignificant, it’s not even hardly worth mentioning them at all.
So fingers crossed, we should be heading down that isle in just a few days. There may be a nip-slip involved, but that’s out of my hands right now.
The toughest thing I did, however, was make the decision not to invite the kidney brother.
I agonized over this – many nights I cried in frustration, but ultimately it came down to this:
He has not contacted me once in the 18 months since the surgery. He has ignored all requests made by the family to participate in events, and has never offered to meet my fiancé. My final opinion on it was this: he has made the decision to not participate in my life, whatever his reason, so I am no longer going to force myself down his throat.
It sucks, but I am surrounded by the most incredible family ever day of life – I no longer am going to worry about someone that doesn’t care about me. I am at peace that I did my part for the relationship, and I can’t force effort on his end.
That aside, things have flowed fairly well. We have stayed budgeted (trust it – no small task in the wedding world of “tradition” and “must-do’s”). We are well-organized (me and my trusty folder). And I have an army of family that jump whenever I say, “Eh, why bother with x-y-z?”
In the end, it might not be the fanciest affair (MUCH to my mother’s chagrin), but it is all Megan-and-Cheese.
It is simple and homemade, with splashes of bold.
It is small in size, but with tons of heart behind it.
It is filled with candy and sweets (would you expect anything less from ME?)
It’s extremely sentimental in a lot a ways, and we both expect there to be a lot of happy tears.
Just ask both of our mothers, who have collectively cried probably everyday in the last two weeks.
I shouldn’t poke fun, as I find myself brought to tears almost daily over some aspect of this – and not in a bad way. It’s not stressed related – rather, I find myself wonderfully overwhelmed with happiness that it feels like my chest is just going to break open.
I cry when I think about the enormity of marriage, the decision I am making, the changes in my life that are coming. And it shocks me, at times, at how happy I am about it all – the girl who loves her solitude, who never wanted to get married, who was just fine and dandy chillin’ and doin’ her own thing.
That girl is about to get married, and she's really kinda freaking excited about it.