So it's hardly a secret that I have never really considered myself good looking. "Cute" would never be a word I would ever use to describe myself. I think that that my general features, coupled with increasing age and my daily attempts at athleticism, never really leave me feeling all that good about myself. Let's face - I have a really poor opinion of myself when it comes to how I look.
These last few weeks have been particularly hard, though. I guess I was just feeling kind of shitty all around ("bluesy," as I now describe), and then I saw some pictures of myself from my recent Florida trip - and I just sort of tumbled down this really steep and dangerous hole of low self-esteem.
And listen - I am certainly not saying any of this to get compliments in return - fact is, these thoughts are so commonplace for me at this point that no sweet, nice, kind words of support are really going to soften up the hard view I have of my physical appearance.
Today was slightly different though.
Today, I got my hair cut.
And as shallow as it may sound, I actually felt...well, not so ugly.
It was a new hair stylist (I took a HUGE chance at this one) and walked out feeling like, "Huh. This sort of worked out."
In fact, I even took pictures of myself. Like, just of myself and my hair - not of anything else.
And since these moments are so few and far between, I am going to document this hair cut, and then try to remember how good I felt today when I am having one of those "other" days.
Here is the "before" - taken this wekeend at a fundraiser - what you can't see sit hat my hair literally goes down to the middle of my back.
And here is the after:
Clearly, the big difference is the bangs. I have become ULTRA sensitive of late regarding the size of me head and forehead, and took the bangs leap. It paid off, IMO. In these pictures, they are swept to the side, but when brushed straight, they are really long and hang over my eyes (like this):
(Yeah, this isn't actually me with my imaginary baby, but you get the idea)
The other big difference is the length - it now falls just below my shoulders, and just feels so much better - so soft, so light, so healthy. Not heavy and hanging and weighing me down.
(Insert male eye-rolling)
Anyways, I am sharing this more for me than anything - taking advantage of that rare moment in which I feel, well, like a lady.
Because of course, my three-hour brick in the morning is going to beat any sort of "lady" right out of it.