Saturday, January 23, 2010

Mish Mosh

Blood Sucker
I saw a grown ass man with a hickey at the gym today.

And by grown ass, I mean like 50.

Now, I’m no prude, but I always assumed that hickeys stopped being cool three weeks prior to ALWAYS.

Honestly, there is no workout THAT important that you have to risk public hickey humiliation to do.

I mean, grab a beer, hit the couch, and wait it out.

Because people like me are staring.

And judging.


Speaking of the gym, there seems to be a new trend.

Last year around this time, all the New Years Resolutioners who otherwise only pass by the gym on the way to the Olive Garden were sporting the denim-jeans-as-workout-attire trend.

Which makes sense, right? I mean, who doesn’t want to work up a good sweat in the ultra-unbreathable fabric of denim?

Feeling the burn as those soggy jeans hug the thighs like heavy-duty Seran Wrap.


The year, however, seems to be the year of the Bare Feet.

Perhaps this is spawned by the newfound cult-forming book “Born to Run” (side note – I wouldn’t exactly know this, though, because truth be told it’s been on my wish list, but I’ve put myself on a book-buying diet this year until I make it through the stacks in my house - but people are raving).

And that’s cool – I get it. We athletes are all about the new – gadgets, training tools, concepts.

Trust me, I don’t embrace my “scrappy athlete” title willingly – if I weren’t so poor (don’t let the “doctor” title fool you – I still work in child welfare), I too would guinea-pig myself with all the new crap (including a Computrainer, hint, hint, wink, wink).

So I get the intrigue of trying out all the new stuff - or in this case, the new “concept.”

But if you are taking yourself to the gym – home of the nastiest, most evolved colonies of germs and disease, shouldn’t you at least try to get yourself a pair of those finger-shoes? You know, the ones that have a little space for each toe, as if to simulate bare feet?

Because seriously – if you want to run free as a 5-year-old along the lakefront path and risk glass, twigs, and pebbles – have at it. I support all sorts of athletic endeavors.

But if you want to go to my gym, put your sweaty, fungusy, hang-naily, toe-jammy, dirty ass feet all over the same equipment that I also use – well, now it’s personal.

I Stand Corrected
Completely un-athletic related, I saw a short clip of a recent American Idol tryout the other day. Apparently some guy has something to say about pants being on the ground, and I was the last one to know about it.

I admit my shock to discover that this show is still on the air.

I mean – really.

I know not ONE person that watches this crap.

So I thought to myself, “Self, surely there is nothing – not ONE single thing- in the world I care less about than American Idol.”

But then I found myself bombarded with “breaking” news that Simon Cowell was leaving the show. It was even on my local nightly news.

And – whoops! Whatdaya know?

There’s that one thing.


Anonymous said...

You would be surprised to know that I watch idol everyttime it airs

prin said...

I've never watched AI. I never got the point. At least when you watch a show like America's Next Top Model, you learn stuff...

p.s. a friend of mine has those shoes and loves them...

Mommymeepa said...

That's funny that the person admitting to watching AI put their comment in as anonymous.

I cannot believe that your gym allows barefeet. There is no way that my gym would allow it.

The latest thing annoying me at the gym is BIG NAKED PEOPLE in the sauna, where the sign says no nudity and then they bend over to pick something up, with their butt practically in my face. Ewwww!!

And this guy doesn't annoy me, but rather amuses me. He looks like Hulk Hogan. Totally, just shorter and not as buff, but looks just like him and he spends more time walking around the gym then actually working out, but I guess if your Hulk Hogan you don't have to work out.

rUntoNamAste said...

Cargo pants are the trend in my neck of the woods for the Resolutionaries. They could be on to something though, so I won't knock it till I try it. Plan on doing that in the never future!

As for the rise of the barefoot nation, I too kick off my shoes for a run on the dreadmill, but I keep my socks on. Going completely BF seems and bit much. I'm sure icky germs are able to somehow seep their way into (and out) of my socks, but it'll have to do for now. Too poor to buy VFF's right now :(

p.s. Feb 1. Chicago Marathon registration opens. You know the drill!

Lauren said...

American Idol interfers with Biggest Loser - so I dumped that sh:t a long time ago LOL!

Sadly, there is this young man at my gym. And by young, I mean 18-22 year old. He wears the EXACT same light teal VELOUR tracksuit to the gym every.freaking.morning.

Uhm. Even if you're washing it - EW. It's velour. Gross.