1. Lost her mind.
2. Called the hospital muttering something about the "return process" and needing a receipt.
3. Wondered out loud how come Parenting magazine never mentioned this part of being a mommy, and then where the hell her husband was at times like these.
4. Gave up her belief that having a baby might require more than having a closet full of cute clothes to dress him, make him cute, and coo at.
5. Invested stock in Purell.
6. Put the nanny agency on speed dial.
Yeah, I know. Gross. In fact, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. But yum, it tasted like gummy bears.
Hmmmm.....that looks like mashed carrorts to me. Looks like we found the culprit.