Here’s to all you bitches for the texts and emails about my lack of posts. Seriously. Get off my sack.
And I say that with the deepest of love.
The Runs
My sister and I started running together during the week. Mondays, mostly. Sometimes Thursdays.
I like it – having a training partner. It tests me, challenges me to get out of my comfort zone – her being fast-as-fuck and all.
Turns out that running with Speedy Pants Sister is actually making me faster.
Sadly, it may be making her slower.
But I do appreciate her slumming it at least once a week.
Overheard on Aforementioned Run
Me: And another fart!
Devin: Have you always farted this much?
Me: No, just recently. I tried analyzing what I eat to see if I can identify a cause.
Devin: Figure it out?
Me: No, not yet. But man, they stink.
Devin: Like?
Me: Dead people.
Devin: I don’t know what a dead person smells like.
Me: Come over for dinner.
Screwed is spelled with a 70.3
So I counted on my fingers today.
Turns out Steelhead is 3 – yes 3! – months away.
Perhaps I need to start focusing more on my consistency and less on…well, everything else. Whining included.
SSB
So like any f.a.b.u.l.o.u.s woman in her early thirties on a sunny spring Saturday afternoon in Chicago, I was sitting on my coffee table watching Sex in the City.
(side note – is it just me, or do you also sort of just stop what your doing when an episode is on? I was just off my failed attempt at a workout and on my way to grocery shop, and I just sat. and watched.)
So they were talking about SSB- Secrete Single Behaviors.
You know – all the weird shit you do before the significant other moves in.
Oddly, the one Carrie stated was also one I am partial to – stacking saltines up and eating them with grape jelly in the kitchen. Although instead of reading fashion magazines at the same time, I read Runner World.
One of our so-few differences.
I have many SSBs, as have been frequently noted throughout this blog.
In addition to the already mentioned of:
1.Keeping laundry in the laundry basket until I wear it all again
2.Eating the same thing, every night.
3.Riding my bike in the living room in the middle of the day.
4.Absentmindedly picking at my pedicure while I read reports.
5.Not showering for a few days. Sometimes more.
6.Not making the bed. Like, ever.
Here are a few more:
6.Spending way too much time in the bathroom plucking my eyebrows.
7.Openly and unabashedly passing gas with no fear of sound and smell.
8. Possibly under the covers. But without witnesses, who can really say, no?
9.Eating off paper plates. On second thought, I do that when Cheese is home.
10.Not being fazed by having only carrots and a bottle of wine in the fridge.
11.Three words – Fudgicles For Breakfast.
And like Carrie Bradshaw says, "I can't help but wonder...."
What are yours?
8 comments:
Me:
1.Keeping laundry in the laundry basket until I wear it all again (Oh yeah. It's the only way to live.)
2.Eating the same thing, every night. (Um. Leftovers made from scratch. So? lol)
4.Absentmindedly picking at my pedicure while I read reports. (Or read blogs. Whatevs.)
5.Not showering for a few days. Sometimes more (My limit is three. But still.)
6. Spending way too much time in the bathroom plucking my eyebrows. (But then a co-worker says, "How come your eyebrows are always perfect?" and it makes it all worthwhile...)
10.Not being fazed by having only carrots and a bottle of wine in the fridge. (Only for me it's just lactose-free milk and margarine.)
11.Three words – Fudgicles For Breakfast. (OMG! I don't do that but I'm so adding it. Starting...NOW!)
Spending way too much time picking and cutting off callouses on my feet.
Eating pb in gobs from the jar. Often sharing with the dog....on the same spoon.
Drinking straight out of the milk carton.
Not showering because I know eventually in the day I will work out, so what's the point?
farts? I have given up trying to play the matching game between foods eaten:wafting smells. It just doesn't ever seem to add up. Plus I don't think I would *ever* eat anything that has the odor I have been smelling lately.
I like your nut sac. It's so cushy!
I don't mind Meg. Everyone needs a break.
Thanks for the email comment yesterday though. Everyone needs validation on that shit once in a while.
It's been 20 years since I was Single.Don't really have anything here.
A.
i fart too much when i'm running too. even when i'm at the gym. it's why i try and grab a treadmill where there is nobody else nearby, then let the crowd fill in (and suddenly disperse) around me.
Farting is mine.
Loud, unabashed farting. Terribly satisfying, dare I say.
(And yes, I *am* dainty like the flower.)
Problem is I've never farted in front of Michael, so this behavior is now relegated to when he's not around. But there will be a day when I think he's run out to the grocery store for bird seed or somesuchcrap and I'll rip one.
And that, my friend, is the day our honeymoon will be over.
I noticed that we have been really going through the Glade candles lately.
Woo-hooo Stealhead in less than 3 months!!!
The tri-group is doing 50 this Sunday, should be a good sized turnout if you're interested. (and get out on some nice country roads) All ability riders will be there from very fast to casual. Let me know.
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