Hold On To Your Panties

Otherwise the sweetness you're about to witness might just blow them away!

Meet my new nephew (and godson!) Aiden Gregory Darnieder.

I was destined to be his godmother. Why? Because he looks just like me when I wake up and haven't had my coffee, eye boggies and all.

Could you NOT die at this?

I want to eat this picture up, it is so delicious. Seriously.

When Baby Nolan (Big Brother Nolan now) woke up from his nap, my mom (who was babysitting him while his mommy was at the hospital), said, "Okay, let's get our shoes on - we have to go meet Aiden!" and Nolan (in his little two-year-old voice) asked, "He came out?"

To make the transition a little easier, my sister bought Big Brother Nolan some presents with the intention of telling Nolan they were from Aiden. So when my mom was trying to get Nolan to hurry up and get dressed (I guess he was lollygagging a bit) so they could get to the hospital, she said, "And Baby Aiden brought you a present!" To which Nolan responded, "Get my shoes!"

I guess the present idea worked. Because let's be serious - presents can only improve relationships (well, unless they are of the "please forgive me for being as ass" vareity, then maybe not so much). But this one worked - and apparently, if its an erector set, complete with a crane, that relationship is pretty much destined to last a life time.

I Am Starting To Realize I Complain Whole Bunches

So Is That Good?
Have you ever had a workout so hard that you actually felt you might throw up, even like, five hours later?

YEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Love.Them.

Not the throw up.

The good workouts.

Nevermind.


There’s Always One Idiot
And in your “WTF” news installment for the day, Drew Peterson is engaged.

Oh yeah - that would be the same guy who is suspect of killing his old lady.

And by old lady, I mean young, 23-year old fourth wife.

Oh, and his third wife too.

So who's the new lucky lady?

Another 23-year-old.

Who he has dated for 4 months.

And for as big an ass as Mr. Peterson is, I have to wonder about the lady-child who dates and accepts a marriage proposal from the man suspected of killing his last two wives.

Oh yeah – she’s got a 5-year-old by another man.

I mean, it’s one thing to test the Fate Gods by naked humping a suspected killer, and frankly put your own life on the line – but introduce your kid to this guy??!!!

Not to be a bitch, but is her head up her ass?

Like, really.

(Okay, I know, I know – guilty until proven innocent….riiiiight. I think the only one sticking by this possibility is The Fire, and that's only because he likes playing Devil's Advocate, and quite literally in this case. Sorry, Fire, but it's true. Don't run from it.)

I bet if Ms. Soon-To-Be-At-The-Bottom-of-the-Cal-Sag was interviewed, no doubt she’d give these genius statements like Drew Peterson “is misunderstood…unfairly judged...a really nice sensitive guy…innocent.”

My gosh – I mean, part of me wants to feel bad for her, but then again – WHY?

She’s a grown-ass woman making a very poor decision - and with a KID.

So to Victim #5, I say, “Good luck with that.”


Kill Me Now
World’s worst feeling?

Setting up your morning coffee – the night before – and realizing there’s none left.

That the only thing in the fridge is the Dunkin Donuts DECAF you bought for your caffeine-challenged, borderline elderly mother.

Now how on earth can I be expected to move a bowel off of decaf?!?!?!

Forget even shooting a neuron or two.

And no morning coffee run with the snow storm heading our way in oh…right about now.

Hang on to your sports bras ladies, this could get ugly…


“It's Britney, Bitch”
Listen, I'm all for a "comeback," but is it me, or do all of Britney Spears’s new songs sounds like they are all sung by “Wall-E?”

Hey, don't get me wrong - I still pump out a good car-dance/head bop to "Circus."

Sure, it's no "Slave 4 U," but it'll do.

But could she at least try to sing, and not be the vocal equivilant of the guy from South Park who speaks with a voice box?