Thursday, December 18, 2008

I Am Starting To Realize I Complain Whole Bunches

So Is That Good?
Have you ever had a workout so hard that you actually felt you might throw up, even like, five hours later?



Not the throw up.

The good workouts.


There’s Always One Idiot
And in your “WTF” news installment for the day, Drew Peterson is engaged.

Oh yeah - that would be the same guy who is suspect of killing his old lady.

And by old lady, I mean young, 23-year old fourth wife.

Oh, and his third wife too.

So who's the new lucky lady?

Another 23-year-old.

Who he has dated for 4 months.

And for as big an ass as Mr. Peterson is, I have to wonder about the lady-child who dates and accepts a marriage proposal from the man suspected of killing his last two wives.

Oh yeah – she’s got a 5-year-old by another man.

I mean, it’s one thing to test the Fate Gods by naked humping a suspected killer, and frankly put your own life on the line – but introduce your kid to this guy??!!!

Not to be a bitch, but is her head up her ass?

Like, really.

(Okay, I know, I know – guilty until proven innocent….riiiiight. I think the only one sticking by this possibility is The Fire, and that's only because he likes playing Devil's Advocate, and quite literally in this case. Sorry, Fire, but it's true. Don't run from it.)

I bet if Ms. Soon-To-Be-At-The-Bottom-of-the-Cal-Sag was interviewed, no doubt she’d give these genius statements like Drew Peterson “is misunderstood…unfairly judged...a really nice sensitive guy…innocent.”

My gosh – I mean, part of me wants to feel bad for her, but then again – WHY?

She’s a grown-ass woman making a very poor decision - and with a KID.

So to Victim #5, I say, “Good luck with that.”

Kill Me Now
World’s worst feeling?

Setting up your morning coffee – the night before – and realizing there’s none left.

That the only thing in the fridge is the Dunkin Donuts DECAF you bought for your caffeine-challenged, borderline elderly mother.

Now how on earth can I be expected to move a bowel off of decaf?!?!?!

Forget even shooting a neuron or two.

And no morning coffee run with the snow storm heading our way in oh…right about now.

Hang on to your sports bras ladies, this could get ugly…

It's Britney, Bitch
Listen, I'm all for a "comeback," but is it me, or do all of Britney Spears’s new songs sounds like they are all sung by “Wall-E?”

Hey, don't get me wrong - I still pump out a good car-dance/head bop to "Circus."

Sure, it's no "Slave 4 U," but it'll do.

But could she at least try to sing, and not be the vocal equivilant of the guy from South Park who speaks with a voice box?


prin said...

1. No. I don't work out that hard. I'm a lady.

2. Some girls just want to get married. There's nothing worse than being 24 and single. Nothing.

3. Just wait till you're in a caffeine-less stupor and then trick yourself into drinking the decaf...

4. Did you see the videos? She's all 16 again, trying to be all innocent and junk. No more heavy slutty eyeliner. The sad part is that she's still making tons of money somehow. *shakes head*

Jen said...

Good for you!!!! I hope to have a workout like that soon. Woo hooooo!!

The Fire said...

like i wasn't going to reply...Lets give the charmer some credit..he must be doing something right...I feel for him, poor guy, his wife left him is running around with the stebic gal...and he can't move on...its tough out do you think he feels...(can you see my smirk...)

T. said...

Knock Knock: Business proposal. What about getting our hands on the essence of caffeine. Concentrate it even more into a super juice then bottle it in a flask around your neck. You. could turn anything decaf into a super caf shot. Put a drop into your MIL decaf Dunkin and she will never know... SUPERSTAR right there. taking something lifeless, bowel-blocking useless, and making it whole again. There is more to this story but I just took a sleeping pill and everything is moving and waving in and out of my sights. be finish

Mommymeepa said...

1. I feel like that every week after I work out with Matt. Good job on the workout.
2. I actually felt a little throw up in my mouth when I heard that on the news. I find it interesting that he won't let the media see who she is. Is that so when he kills her no one will know who she was. And by the way Drew, you need to divorce your other wife before you can marry this one. I don't know what some women are thinking especially when there is a little boy involved. UGH.
3. Sorry about the coffee. It will be ok. Got any Mt. Dew in the house?
4. There's not anything I can say here.
5. Both kids have a snow day. These are not good for mommys. Ahhhhhhh!!

Izzy said...

here is a photo of the lucky lady:

Anonymous said...

I hope you print/save all of your blog entries. Your writing is excellent. YOUR BLOG could be sold as a book.
Have a great weekend.
Wade the conservative social worker

Alili said...

I had laugh, not sure why but the whole thing made me laugh...and nod in agreement. Hope the snow eases up over there.

Benson said...

I'm on sensory overload here.
Way too much weirdness.
Decaf? WTF? May as well drink cat piss. YUK.

The (IRON) Clyde said...

I threw up after my last workout, as you found out, it had nothing to do with how hard I worked.

I'm still upset about the whole thing, hopefully the alcohol will make the pain go away.

kritta said...

"Listen, I'm all for a "comeback," but is it me, or do all of Britney Spears’s new songs sounds like they are all sung by “Wall-E?”"

That just made me laugh. What a perfect description. Sounds just like the new Kanye. Wall-E started a new revolution.

21stCenturyMom said...

There is a huge population of women who marry convicted killers serving life sentences - true story. It's some sick 'fix the guy' or 'be there for the misunderstood guy' thing.

Is it not bad enough that the man is 54 and the woman is 23? EW!

The Big Cheese said...

laugh out loud funny.

MadisonDuo said...

Oh M - everytime I come in to read your blog, I giggle first, then laugh so hard my stomach hurts by the end.

Your blog is where I come first for my daily news - you've got it all laid out in terms of how I am thinking. Love it! Since I've been without TV now for almost 2.5 weeks, your stories and news are keeping me abreast of what is happening out there in this scary world.