Thursday, April 16, 2009

I Have to Show Up For Two Days of This?

Top Five Things I Learned in My First-of-Two Training Days

1. No matter what city, state or type of training, there’s always that one person who has an answer/comment/story for everything. And the combination of those three things will inevitably prevent the training from ending on time.

2. No matter how many times the instructor gives cell phone instructions (i.e. turn it off or at least on vibrate), there will always be that one person who not only doesn’t turn it off, but will answer the call and talk right there in the middle of the training.

3. No amount of coffee will work after 230.

4. An hour lunch or ten-minute break really means that…plus apparently at least ten more minutes or frankly whenever you feel like bringing your happy ass back so the rest of us can start.

5. Pinching yourself to stay awake is ineffective, and only leaves you with a bloody hand.

And finally, for the Presenter: The word is “specific,” not “pacific.”

That’s an ocean.

Hi ho, hi ho. Onto Day 2 we go.


rUntoNamAste said...

LMAO @ 'pacific'
Point #3 is so true and influences point #4 for me. My trainings usually run 5 days so day 3, I tack on 10 additional minutes to breaks and 20-30 to lunches. Luckily my attendance is insignificant.

Still lol-ing @ pacific!

prin said...

#3. I know. Tea neither. Nor sugar. *shakes head* And then they all keep you up all night.

Maybe every time she says "Pacific" you can say, "Um. No, it's lake Michigan."

Amy said...

I know a guy who instead of "idea" he always says "ideal" drives me nuts. Hey everyone, here is my "ideal". Of course none of us have ever corrected him. I am a wimp. I am still laughing about pacific...

Anonymous said...

I pacifically like your comments on pinching your hand.
Wade the conservative social worker.

Kathleen said...

Pacific is the word of the day now.

Tri-Angle said...

Pacific is good, but what about....

"It's a Mute point", insted of moot. Makes me INSANE.

I got a guy now at work, instead of Minimum, says Miminun....I can't even say that out loud. My mouth won't move that way.

Benson said...

Oh the torture!
I had to listen to a guy that ended each and every statement with
"...and so forth."

Alili said...

ROFL - I can't stand those darn pacific people. :)

T. said...

That is SO true! All of them!
As a "contract" employee I have to attend an orientation/training every time I start a new contract with another hospital. It is insane and I have to mentally prepare myself weeks in advance for the misery that I will have to face. Most of the time it is someone standing up at the front of the room reading line by line from a powerpoint presentation- even more annoying. Just email it to me and I'll read it on my own time.

What about "axe" instead of "ask"?
Or when someone says "to make a long story short" then proceeds to make it even flipping longer.

As for #1 I despise THOSE people.

Cheers for day 2...good luck.

onelittletrigirl said...

I still pronounce Specific, as Pacific..and sometimes "spepipic" because I am trying to hard and just can't say it! I gave up on speech thearpy and decided to avoid the word at all costs.

onelittletrigirl said...

And by thearpy, I meant therapy. :)

Borsch said...

These are SO true!

Catching up on the previous post....#1? Boob size directly relates to IM Champion...crap! I'm out to!

Eric said...

Pacific LOL!!! I love it!!!