Monday, February 16, 2009

A Little Piece of Mind, with Some Phelps and Brown Thrown In

Just A Thought
Can we please stop encourging:
A. Mischa Barton
B. The Jonas Brothers


Because A is irrelevant ever since the "OC" became the "No See," and B is talentless. And no, 10-year-old girls are not appropriate judges of that.

Or Maybe I’m Just Too Old To Understand Kids These Days
So I’ve been on this whole “Let’s wait until the full story comes out before I launch a tirade” lately. I have decided to mostly sit back and wait until things unfold before speaking my mind (BL being the sole exception).

Now granted, I know this might take my edge off sometimes, but perhaps a little edge in the short term means a lot less people stuffing words in my mouth in the long term.

For example, you may be wondering, “Hey Megan – what are your thoughts about the stimulus package?”

And to that I would say, “Let’s wait and see.”

I know, right?

It’s like I don’t even know myself.

And that’s not to say I don’t have opinions – oh I do, and lately they have been aimed at not just the stimulus package, but this travesty of American media called "Octo Mom," that atrocity of a story about the 13-year-old boy in the UK who had a kid with his 15-year-old girlfriend, and the fact that it takes 14 quarters to park for one hour in downtown Chicago.

But for now, my "wait-and-see" period has expired on the Chris Brown/Rhianna incident.

(for those of you, like my fiancĂ©, who have been eyebrow deep in insurance claims in Arkasas for the last several weeks, I refer to the incident that took place the night before the Grammy’s when Chris Brown “allegedly” used his girlfriend’s face as his own personal boxing session.)

First let me say that, yes - he needs to have his day in court. And yes - I did see that his father says he’s “remorseful.” And no - I was not there and I don’t know for sure what the details are regarding their fight.

HOWEVER - What we know for sure is that he did, in fact, hit her. So what pisses me off the most about this situation (in addition to the hitting) are the people that make comments like, “Maybe she started the fight” or “I hear she’s a bitch so she probably made him do it” and “She threw his keys out the window – I would hit a bitch too!” and “Now all the nazifeminists are trying to take him down!”

Okay people – first off – who is raising you?

Because in my world, no matter who says what about who, YOU DON’T HIT A GIRL.

In fact, girls shouldn’t hit boys either, but that’s not really what’s disputed here.

You don’t justify a female beat-down based on who started an argument.

You don’t look at a situation of domestic violence and say, “Well, maybe she deserved it.”

Maybe I’m old fashioned or what not, but no girl deserves to be beat down.

When did this become socially acceptable or excusable?

Oh – and the worst part about those comments I listed above?

They were all real, and all made by females.

Females that apparently think it’s okay for men to hit them.

And yes, the word “nazifeminist” was used.

As if those who support female rights rank right up there with the group of people responsible for the deaths of millions of Jewish people.

Really, people? Really?

Second of all – this child has been raised in a culture that glorifies female powerlessness. Although his own songs don’t necessarily reflect this – they are mostly more pop music then anything – he was mentored and brought up through the whole P. Diddy/bitches/hos/ladies-dancing-in-bikinis scene – and from what I understand, it’s not really a scene that promote female power or respect (and no, Lil’ Kim doesn’t count as representative of power, no matter how often she says her p*$$y is the almighty – in fact, referring to a female genitalia in a rap song is pretty much the exact OPPOSITE of respect, and instead a universal commentary on female exploitation, as a general rule of thumb…but then again, I am sure I am considered old fashioned).

Moreover, this society made him a multimillionaire with six cars, a mansion and a lifetime of entitlement, all by the age of 15.

Then he busts a punch to Rhianna’s face, and people are like, “But he’s such a nice guy! How did this happen?”

Well, shit, I don’t know – let’s call his publicist, stylist, manager, agent, studio director, video producer, album coordinator, and general assistant to get a comment.

Give me a fucking break.

Role Model
Seeing as I was dubbed “Narc” by my siblings, a loving term given in no small part to my ability to sniff out and rat on the use of illegal drugs during adolescence, I am the last person to advocate or ignore substance use.

I am pretty much the poster child for a drug-free America.

Bottom line - Drug use is no bueno to me.

But at the same time, I feel like people need to back the fuck off of Michael Phelps.

I mean, this guy has lived a fairly sheltered and rigidly structured life for almost his whole life.

The guy is nothing if not the epitome of dedication, commitment and self-sacrifice.

The guy wins an ass load of medals, and he wants to be a 23 year old for once – get drunk, smoke some weed, date a stripper?

Whatever man - have at it. Most of us try all this during college anyway (or, not so much the stripper part, but you know), but for Phelps, his college was spent growing fins and adjusting to his gills.

This guy sprinkled the dust of Olympics dreams over the scrambled eggs of his 6000-calorie breakfast every morning.

But what makes my head explode is all these parents want to bitch about their kids not having a role model to look up to, about him being such a disappointment.

Because correct me of I am wrong, but are parents supposed to be the role models?

When did we stop expecting that, and letting sports “heroes” take over that job?

Now, don't get me wrong. It's great to have people as examples of what's possible with hardworkd, focus, and comittment. It's great to have examples of "what's possible."

Phelps was like that.

But I am also a firm believer that if you provide a solid, respectful and supportive home for a child, that child can see shit like Michael Phelps pullin' bongs and say, “Yeah, well, that’s not for me.” Parents are the ones that have to instill the CHARACTER in their children that will ultimately help them differentiate what's right and wrong.

Phelps shouldn't be saddled with the responsbility of that.

Sometimes I think parents really underestimate how much power, influence and authority they have over their kids – mostly because in the last two decades, children seem to have take control over the parents, and parents just throw their hands up.

I see it every effing day in this job – where parents say shit like, “well I just can’t control him” or “I’ve tried everything” when they know they haven’t. Or parents that were emotionally absent or abusive or negligent for the first 15 years, and now they can’t understand why the kids doesn’t listen to them.

I may have a doctorate, but this shit’s not neuroscience.

I mean, at some point we really need to reign in this sports-people-are-gods bullshit. And while we're at it, throw actors and singers into that group too (Miley Cyrus, anyone?)

It time to give the parenting responsibility back to the parents, and stop whining about a 23 year old cutting loose for once.


The Fire said...

A couple things. First the Phelps thing. Mrs. Hammer put a good spin on it. The kid has tremendous documented A.D.D. How bout the dope being one thing that can put him at ease. Couldn't agree more with the role model thing. Parents push it to someone else as the wish not to hold themselves accountable. Whatever I do find it funny that people are all over this poor kid, when last summer they all wanted a piece of his jock. ME, I WANT THE KID THAT TOOK THE PHOTO AND SOLD IT TO BE HALF THE PUBLIC FIGURE PHELPS HAS BEEN. IF THIS IS SUCH A GREAT THING GETTING THIS KID IN TROUBLE, STEP FORWARD!!! FORTUNATELY FOR HIM, I AM NOT IN CHARGE, AS I FIND THIS ACT OF SELLING A PHOTO OF AN AMERICAN HERO, AN ACT OF TREASON. I WOULD SEND HIM TIL GITMO UNTIL WE CLOSED IT.
As for Chris Brown. All his lady friend needed to do was change the channel and give him a beer that was opened for him. how hard is it, take the bottle cap off and put on espn for the guy. geez!!!!

kodiacbear said...

Love IT! Thanks M--i couln't have said it better..

Jenny Davidson said...

Good post!

Alili said...

Nice work M. :)

Go Mom Go said...

Have I told you lately how much you rock?!

Great Post

prin said...

You totally do rock.

I blame parents. I know in my life, I somehow justified abuse toward me because I fought back. If you fight back, you're not being abused, right? Nobody was there to protect me and tell me it wasn't right to be hit, regardless of whether or not you were strong enough to take it.

Even worse than that, it became, "I'm frustrating and ridiculously stubborn- maybe I do deserve a beating sometimes."

On the other hand, I don't like the excuses they make for Chris Brown. He saw violence when he was young? Well, you know, morbid as it sounds, if that were true, he'd know never to leave visible scars. Right? And it's not like people with violent backgrounds don't know they need to be careful as hell not to continue the cycle. Own it already. Take responsibility for yourself.

As for Phelps, what gets me is not that he smoked up but that he was stupid enough to get caught. I mean, seriously. Everybody's watching you. Smarten up.

I so hate how all these celebrity people had no idea they would be watched. All of them whine and complain about being in the spotlight. They're a whole generation of Princess Dianas. I mean, Di was sweet and all (RIP), but she used the media to get what she wanted and then lamented when they wouldn't leave her alone. You can't have it both ways, so deal. *shrug*

Eric said...

#1. The Stimulus package......I wish the Govenment would have had more of a "wait and see" attitude like you do. Voting on a 1000 page document less than 24 hours after it went public is just crazy!!! It could be the best plan in the world but ya still need to read the damn thing!!!

#2. 14 quarters? I find if hard to believe Obama didn't make parking free when he was in the state legislature. After all we are all about to get free cars, houses, and gas :-)

#3 Maybe this is the Southerner in me speaking but if you hit a woman, you aren't a man....period. If a woman hits you for whatever a man....walk away. How about someone twice as strong and twice as big as him hit him.....see how he likes it.

#4. Totally agree about Phelps. The guy has practically lived his life in a pool. If that were me, I would want to get high too.....give him a break.

#5. Yes, parents should take not more but ALL the resposibility for their kids. Stop making excuses.

Amy said...

Right on my American twin. WEll written and scarily like something that would come out of my mouth only better written and makes more sense.

Abuse is the shits. In any way shape or form. Right down to the off handed comments people make to justify his actions. It's just adding to the issue at hand and that is that whole thing of "women deserve it" or "that bitch better be in the kitchen makin' me my dinner". I even found the Aubry and her sister thing on BL uncomfortable: the one husband not really supporting her and "needing" her at home to take care of the family. Uck. I don't know if it was the way they filmed it and produced it but it smelt like repression and a controlling situation to me. Maybe I just got hit hard with all that shit during my stint at women in crisis and now read too much into situations like that. But again it could all be a "made for TV" situation and edited to look that way.

quietandsmalladventures said...

OMFG, +1!

thank you, i couldn't have said it better!

Benson said...

thanks, you read my mind and said it better.
You rock.

rUntoNamAste said...

Ah yes, thank you for my daily dose of rage. Refreshing! Your blog should be renamed 'Yea I said it-and what!' What baffles me the most is that Chris Brown is yet to have his ass beat down by one of Rihanna's peeps. In this case, I fully condone fighting fire with fire and best believe either my pops and/or my two psycho bros would be fudging CB the fudge up. His pretty-boy, pop locking days would be O-V-E-R! That's what you do to men that are bitch enough to lay their hands on a woman.

As for Mr. Phelps, did the masses really think he downed 10,000 calories a day from swimming? Laugh-out-loud. Can we say someone had the munchies? Anyway, he's an Einstein in aqua, but a derf on land. And as you correctly mentioned, being sheltered and confined to becoming the next merman didn't help his situation much. That being said, there will be instances where he'll make some bad decisions because common sense isn't that common to him. He'll live and learn like the rest of us and people need to really get off his nuts. In order words, I agree!

By the way, Chris Brown's community service should include punching the snitch who sold MP'
s picture in the face. That'll bring this blog entry full circle :-)

Flatman said...

I love your blog. That is all.

stronger said...

A certain person once told me his mother condoned hitting a woman if she struck first. Said person ended up in jail on domestic violence charges...without being struck by a woman.

I think the average american gives too much power to the celebrity. They live the life. They are handed everything they can afford and they can afford anything because the average american propelled them to celebrity status. Meanwhile, the average american is losing their job, their home, their savings while 19yr old pop stars are renting $2k/day cars and beating their high profile girlfriends??? And the sick thing is...he'll get off easy one way or another...because "we" made him into a star.