Monday, March 2, 2009

H-E-Double Hockey Stick

So apparently tomorrow marks the beginning of No Cuss Week.

First off, I think its bullshit that it starts on a Tuesday.

Who starts a week on TUESDAY?

If my week has to start on Monday, so does Cuss Week.


Second, if the money jar and the Dial soap sandwich my mom fed me as a child didn't work, I can't make any promises about a vague psuedo-holiday of Cuss Week.

I mean, I even try the old standby substitutes - Cheese and Crackers, Freck, Eff, Gosh Darn, Flying Monkeys - you catch my drift.

But lemme tell ya - when you just NEED to get that point across - when you just gotta tell a mother fucker how you feel - nothing really says what on your mind like a good old fashioned


You know?

And I right, or am I right?

I mean, it's kinda like using the word douche bag when trying to describe a ...well, douche bag. You use that word, and there's NO mistaking how you feel.

And swears aren't all that bad, right? I mean, some are so versatile, they can be nouns, verbs, AND adjectives.

Like "shit."

Noun: "I gotta take a shit" or "I don't give a shit."

Adjective: "I had a shitty day" or "This is a shitty job."

Verb: "Don't bother me while I am shitting."

Now, I don't advocate cussing around young children - after all, cusses should only be used by adults, say perhaps, a right you receive when you register to vote or join the Army.

So, use this Cuss Week as you will - perhaps I will try to curb it, perhaps not.

But it's a interesting thought.


MissAllycat said...

I gave up swearing for lent...

It's a good thing I'm already going to hell, because man, it's kicking my ass...ets.

Freaking hard.

I wish you the best of luck. :)

rUntoNamAste said...

Cheese and crackers is a substitute for...? That's enough to make me say fuck cuss week!

Alili said...

I think this is cuss week...not no cuss week. At least that is what has been going on here!

Eric said...

Someone pointed out (I forget who) how this week just happened to start after all the major celebrity award shows were off TV.

Flatman said...

have you seen the swear jar commercial?


prin said...

LOL!!! I gave up swearing for my Bible boy and now that he's gone, my sailor mouth is back.

And I don't mean "sailor mouth" in the gross way, just in the sweary way.

Kickstand Pam said...

Ah, I dealt with this subject last week. I agree don't use the "words" around children. But when the children start using them, like my 6 y/o son, in school (ugh), well be prepared to question how and when you say them - even when you think they aren't listening - they are! ;)

Funny, post, I'm still laughing :)

TriHard said...

my favorite swearword is the one you mentioned!! says it all...good and bad. Funny post!

Tyger Lily said...

Man, good luck with THAT!

I'm pretty sure cuss week doesn't apply in good ole' NM! LOL!

Mommymeepa said...

Flatman, that is a funny video. Thanks for sharing.

Michelle J said...

"SNAP" is a close substitute, but nothing feels as good as saying FUCK. I'm with you mutherfucker.

starttothink said...


When I was 15, I was driving with my mom in the car. Some guy pulled out in front of me, and I said, "ASSHOLE!" Then I cringed, remembering my mom was in the car.
She said, "Allison."
I said, "Sorry..."
She said, "...use adjectives."
I said, "Fucking asshole?"
She said, "Better."

She then told me that when you get your license to drive, you get your license to curse, but to always remember to be grammatically correct with the cursing. Good advise, I'd say.

Patrick said...

I just linked here from Pam's blog. I hope this helps bring focus to the word FUCK

Benson said...

Good post, I'm chuckling.
Anger swearing is OK.
Just using swear words in everyday conversation bugs me.
Good luck