Hanging

Still blusey.

Thanks to all those that have checked in - I had some less-bluey moments in the last three days, but overall I just find myself to be in this funk that has no actual meaning/trigger/reason.

I haven't posted because, gosh - I barely muster the energy to climb my ass out bed each morning, much less try to put together a coherent or interesting thought.

I mostly cry. And move slowly.

And I am a pretty solitary person to begin with, but now I am almost a total shut-in - a life position usually reserved for the eldery, of which I am not.

Yet.

Although based on my 16-miler today, my body beleives itself to be in its golden years already.

And I think that makes it all the more difficult - I had planned to basically sweat my bad mood out of me this weekend with huge workouts, and it didn't happen.

My should-have-been three hour ride yesterday turned into a 90 minute ordeal.

My 20-miler today was cut short to 16 due to my general weezing and lack of breath.

And despite my recent return to the pool (I know, I am stunned to) I didn't make it there this weekend.

And I am sick again.

Okay, yeah, so.....

I think that is far and away enough bitching for one day.

I keep trying to remind myself of a saying I have written on a card that sits in front of the tv and bike trainer: "There will be a day when you can no longer do this - Today is not that day."

And its true. Pissy mood, shortened workouts, whatever - despite it all, I can still hold an appreciation for the fact that my body can even carry itself 16 miles.

Onto another week...