Sunday, October 5, 2008

Hanging

Still blusey.

Thanks to all those that have checked in - I had some less-bluey moments in the last three days, but overall I just find myself to be in this funk that has no actual meaning/trigger/reason.

I haven't posted because, gosh - I barely muster the energy to climb my ass out bed each morning, much less try to put together a coherent or interesting thought.

I mostly cry. And move slowly.

And I am a pretty solitary person to begin with, but now I am almost a total shut-in - a life position usually reserved for the eldery, of which I am not.

Yet.

Although based on my 16-miler today, my body beleives itself to be in its golden years already.

And I think that makes it all the more difficult - I had planned to basically sweat my bad mood out of me this weekend with huge workouts, and it didn't happen.

My should-have-been three hour ride yesterday turned into a 90 minute ordeal.

My 20-miler today was cut short to 16 due to my general weezing and lack of breath.

And despite my recent return to the pool (I know, I am stunned to) I didn't make it there this weekend.

And I am sick again.

Okay, yeah, so.....

I think that is far and away enough bitching for one day.

I keep trying to remind myself of a saying I have written on a card that sits in front of the tv and bike trainer: "There will be a day when you can no longer do this - Today is not that day."

And its true. Pissy mood, shortened workouts, whatever - despite it all, I can still hold an appreciation for the fact that my body can even carry itself 16 miles.

Onto another week...

8 comments:

Prin said...

Yey! 16 miles! I think I've run 16 miles over the course of my life. Maybe.

I think if you stop trying to hard to be Superwoman, you'll realize you already are.

Cheesy, I know, but it's true.

You're allowed some time off from being awesome at everything once in a while. (hugs)

Cindy Jo said...

Hang in there Meagan - you're doing better than me! I've spent the last month hiding in bed whenever I possibly can. And doing ZERO workouts. I have ONE pair of jeans that fit right now!!!

You're lucky to have the Cheese, even if he is far away. There's always webcam sex, right?

Jen a/k/a Spinnervals Queen said...

Hang in there! I have a challenge for you - if I drag myself out of bed at 5:30 am tomorrow morning to do "Mental Toughness" will you do the workout too sometime next week?

Believe me - we all go through these periods, in fact, mine started in 2003 and hasn't let up. But I get up and get through the day. And you will too. You are much stronger than this.

Now, are you up for the challenge? :-))))

Borsch said...

You said it right, 16 miles is still 16 miles and today is not the day you don't stop.

Have a good week!

Mommymeepa said...

Thanks for letting us know how you are doing.

The fact that you got out there and did any workouts is great.

Love ya and praying for ya.

I cannot wait for you to do Apple Cider Century. My goal is to do the 75 mile ride next year. YEAH!!

Talk to you soon. Love ya, Melissa

Danielle in Iowa said...

Sorry things suck at the moment! It'll pass hopefully!

Prin said...

Is it my blog? Is that why? You go there for drama and all you get is Jesus and it ruins your day?

I'm sorry.

:D

Duane said...

Hugs Meg!