Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Lemons but No Lemonade

I am bluesy.

I am just sick of everything and everyone right now.

I am sick of politics mostly- of people being asses to each other, of the state of this country, of the media, or the hypocrisy.

I am sick of reading how people that I once respected personally attack others while blatenly ignoring the full truth of things.

I am sick of politician's half-truths, and of a populace that collectively and consciously ignores the truth that is actually in front of them.

I am sick of worrying about what all this means for my future - maybe everything, maybe nothing.

I am sick of worrying about the potential of living in a country in which I can't build a private practice (as a SECOND job, nonetheless) because working THAT hard might mean I would owe the government almost HALF my money. Where's the motivation to improve my lot in life? To benefit frmo the degree I busted my ass to get?

I have been coming home from work, keeping the tv off, turning the computer off, and just reading - anything to shut it all out.

And it's not just the actual election- rather (and I said this before), it's what it has all come to reveal about our world, about us as Americans.

All a bunch of finger-pointers, blame-passers, hate-breeders, liars.

And how can we expect politicans to behave any differently if we ourselves encourage this environment?

Ironic, but they really do end up being our "representitives."

Being "passionate" about this election has turned into an excuse for people to be nasty, ugly, and hypocritical. I get that people are really dedicated to their "side," but at what cost to your integrity? How does one pride oneself on being "well informed" when the only information they seek out and promote is one-sided?

I am starting to remember why I just stayed out of all this to begin with.

What else?

My job is extremely stressful right now - I seem to have found myself supervising people who have no desire to improve themselves as clinicians, but instead are satisfied with being told what to do, what to write, how to think.

And when they are not trying to claim disability for made-up injuries, they are ditching work and lying about it.

And I miss my BF.

I really, really miss him.

And there are times when he hurts and I can't help.

This is the stuff that eat at me, that keeps me up at night.

That is why I am blusey.


Wipaddler said...

Jebus woman I thought I was bad. I have kept the tv off, I wont get into conversations at work about the election the only place that I will talk about what is going on in America right now is class and that's only because I have to. So for right now I'm going to sit here and watch my Netflix and bust my ass in school so maybe just maybe I can get a decent job that I will be able to pay my degree off.

I'd type more but um.... my thumb hurts. :)

PS if you need to edit that last part out I understand!!

Andra Sue said...

This too will pass...it always does. Feel better soon, k?

That is all. :)

- A.

Mommymeepa said...

You know all your bloggy peeps love you. We are hear for you and you can vent to us any 'ol time. I'm glad you are turning off the TV and Computer. It's ugly. I'm not even going to watch the VP debate on Thursday.

Ok, everyone out there. Lay off, lighten up, and get over yourselves. I want my Meg back. :-)

Like Andra Sue said, "This too shall pass." Hang in there and really, we are here for you.

I'll be praying for you.
Take care my friend.

Mommymeepa said...

You did forget to mention one happy thing. . . .


Focus on that and turn that TV back on on Thursday and watch them kick the Rays butts.

GO SOX GO!!!!!

Alili said...

We love you here in the blog-o-sphere! :) Big hugs, Meg it will all work out somehow.

Prin said...

I don't know if you like Pearl Jam, but they used to sing a song to reassure the masses. He'd preface it by saying something like, "Everybody keeps saying, 'It'll be ok,' but it's getting harder and harder to convince ourselves that it really will be ok, so will you say it with me now?" and then he sings this cover:
It's Ok


Instead of saying "It's ok", or "It'll be ok", because maybe it won't, I don't know, I'll say, look at what you have-
1. You the freedom to diss your government and your fellow Americans freely.
2. You have the freedom to work, to choose your mate and to go to school.
3. You have the opportunity and resources available to you to train hard and finish the Ironman.
4. You have a guy who loves you enough to move a few states over to be with you.
5. You have a career that has purpose and significant meaning.
6. You have an incredibly supportive family and strong circle of friends.
7. You have your optimism, which, even on your worst day, still kicks my optimism's ass.
8. You have easy access to things like Mike n Ikes and other valuable candy resources.

So yeah, you have it pretty good, I'd say.

Just stop watching the news. ;)


stronger said...

bluesy- I think it means you have to go buy a blue dress or something...but not one with any kind of stars or stripes pattern...perhaps polka-dots...polka-dots are always happy...but then you'll feel happy again and that would call for some ice cream maybe...and then you'd put on an extra couple of pounds so you'd be back to the bluesy dress...but you'd cheer up with the polka-dots again...vicious, vicious circle. Cheer up girly.

Tri-Angle said...

I've been listening to the 7 habits of highly effective people during my commute to Kingman each week Meg.
One of the most profound things that he discussed was our "Circle of Influence" vs. our "Circle of Concern"
The CofC tends to rule our lives with the things with have NO control over. Work on your CofI.
Oh....and buy the Blue Plka Dot dress like Carrie said.....

Jen a/k/a Spinnervals Queen said...

Hang in there girl!!! We all have those days where everything just seems so f'd up. Esp when you are in the biz you are - you deal w/problems (very horrific ones) 24/7. Take breaks, enjoy yourself, get away from it. There is some goodness in the world...some days its harder to see than others. I am an atty that gets appointed alot in juvenile neglect cases, so I have somewhat of an idea what you deal with, but I'm sure I don't even know half.

On another note, I loved your idea about the made-up marathon, but I am not a runner. And I suck at swimming. But, if you had a made-up triathlon, and had a relay team, I would do the bike portion!!

Aren't you going to FL soon? That trip will help.

Steve Stenzel said...

Boo. I hope you feel better soon. Although those damn jerky political ads will be on for a while yet. Boo again.

Hang in there!!

Mommymeepa said...

how ya doing? still bluesy?

Love ya.

deb_dee said...

I hope the rest of your week got a lot better. I hope you're taking care of yourself!

Borsch said...

Oh, so sorry! I can sympathize with the work situation. I have three employees that are doing the same thing!