Lemons but No Lemonade

I am bluesy.

I am just sick of everything and everyone right now.

I am sick of politics mostly- of people being asses to each other, of the state of this country, of the media, or the hypocrisy.

I am sick of reading how people that I once respected personally attack others while blatenly ignoring the full truth of things.

I am sick of politician's half-truths, and of a populace that collectively and consciously ignores the truth that is actually in front of them.

I am sick of worrying about what all this means for my future - maybe everything, maybe nothing.

I am sick of worrying about the potential of living in a country in which I can't build a private practice (as a SECOND job, nonetheless) because working THAT hard might mean I would owe the government almost HALF my money. Where's the motivation to improve my lot in life? To benefit frmo the degree I busted my ass to get?

I have been coming home from work, keeping the tv off, turning the computer off, and just reading - anything to shut it all out.

And it's not just the actual election- rather (and I said this before), it's what it has all come to reveal about our world, about us as Americans.

All a bunch of finger-pointers, blame-passers, hate-breeders, liars.

And how can we expect politicans to behave any differently if we ourselves encourage this environment?

Ironic, but they really do end up being our "representitives."

Being "passionate" about this election has turned into an excuse for people to be nasty, ugly, and hypocritical. I get that people are really dedicated to their "side," but at what cost to your integrity? How does one pride oneself on being "well informed" when the only information they seek out and promote is one-sided?

I am starting to remember why I just stayed out of all this to begin with.

What else?

My job is extremely stressful right now - I seem to have found myself supervising people who have no desire to improve themselves as clinicians, but instead are satisfied with being told what to do, what to write, how to think.

And when they are not trying to claim disability for made-up injuries, they are ditching work and lying about it.

And I miss my BF.

I really, really miss him.

And there are times when he hurts and I can't help.

This is the stuff that eat at me, that keeps me up at night.

That is why I am blusey.