Life as Usual

First things first
Thanks for being patient with this whole transition. I myself find it to be a massive ass cramp to have to sign in every.single.time, so I appreciate those who make that effort.

That said, I had a chuckle over all the comments about it being a super secret club – I made a comment to Flatman about how people would think this was a lot less cool if they knew that the girl on the other side of the screen was:

A) A virtual shut-in who found it too time-consuming to change her clothes on a daily basis and often even slept in them for that matter
B) May go all day without brushing her teeth, and
C) Has taken to eating her dinner of cereal out of a measuring bowl because she can’t be bothered to actually look through the three cabinets to figure out where she unpacked the real bowls.

A month and a half ago.

Yup – I certainly am a prize.

(and I will have you know that I almost hit “publish” before I noticed I wrote bowels instead of bowls. So I guess I have that going for myself – I don’t eat my cereal out of bowels).


Second things second
What with all the excitement of private bloggers and criminals, I really haven’t said much about the fact that I have:

A.) Gained three more pounds, now upping the total to 13 for my post-IM physique;

B.) Cheese comes home today.

And you know what call the day of his return?

PM Day.

As in, Personal Maintenance.

Although it really should named “Gosh Damn that Wax Sure is Hot and Can You Please Not Wax the Actual Skin Off My Lip This Time Because It Makes Me Look Like I Have Herpes” Day, but that’s such a mouthful, yeah?

With Cheese gone all the time, there’s a lot of room to get really lazy about personal upkeep. I mean seriously – if I tweeze my eyebrows , wack down my leg hair and wax my lip hair ONCE once during his absence, I call it a victory for personal hygeine. ‘Cause whose looking? Really?

The only regular appointment I keep is with the bikini waxer – Cheese home or not – mostly because I still swim and frankly, like Samantha said on Sex In The City – “I could be on Death Row and still not have that situation.”

Oh, and while I am the topic of lady bits – I was at the Y last week, and on my way to the pool, through the showers, there was a lady shaving her lady bits. IN THE PUBLIC SHOWER. Not even, like, in a stall – like in the open shower area, where you just have the spouts.

Now, call me prude, but this seemed a bit…unsanitary? I don’t even know if that’s the right word. I mean, I personally don’t care about the shaving part (like I said, I’m a waxer – to each his own – and besides, I’d rather you clean it up because you can’t BELIEVE how uncomfortable it is to be swimming next to some with….”the situation.” I mean, how do you NOT look, yeah?)

And yeah. I stared.

Shame's just a four-letter word. And I ain't got none.

But to be taking care of such private business in such a public place seemed off. But again, maybe I am old fashioned.

Well, old fashioned in the sense that it’s apparently okay to talk about lady bits on a blog, just not shave them in public. See the difference? Yeah, me neither.


Third things is last
The weight thing is a surprise I must say – seeing how I have been such Spinnervals whore these last few weeks. And speaking of whore, is it me or are Spinnervals like cycling porn?

Lemme break this down:
1. You got all the weird awkward camera angles – on the ground looking up, head-on, from behind, and frankly, the lighting does no one any favors.

2. You go the cyclists themselves – trying to out perform the guy next to them, trying not to look directly at the camera and the creepiness when they do – it’s a reminder that it’s actually a job, and hey, maybe they aren’t really enjoying this.

3. The music – are you kidding me with this? Real porn might actually have a leg up on this one.

4. The in-between set interviews and story lines are about as realistic and well-scripted as the “plumber coming to fix the pipes.”

Hmm.

Looking over this post I gotta say – lady bits and porn?

No wonder you need to sign in now.