I Overslept For My Own Marathon

(AKA, "Why Some Ideas Are Better Left In My Head")

Designated Megathon Starting Time: 8AM
Time Megan Couldn't Be Bothered to Wake Up Until: 7:52
Official Start Time: Who Knows? In my rush, I also forgot my watch....but we think it was 8:20.

Also note - I do not live on the running path - rather, I live several miles away, by car. So an 8:20 start time meant a breakfast of a Powerbar and coffee in the car, both of which I belched up for the first three miles.

And we're off!

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Megathon Team Leader, Devin. Her mouth was saying, "Ready, Set, Go!" but her face was saying, "Seriously, bitch? No watch? Overslept? Did you at least brush your teeth? Damn, and to think I've been out here since 630AM putting up signs AT EVERY MILE. IF you didn't need my ass like like I need Reeces Pieces, I would peace out this bitch - go get myself a donut."
Yeah, I wore my iPod, because at the Megathon, no one disqualifies you if you do.

At Mile 3 - I was actually listening to this rap song by M.I.A. where she goes, "All I wanna do is - bang!-bang!-bang!-bang! - and take your money." And the bang-bang is actually gun shots, so I was showing my guns.

This little move is also - coincidently - Cheese's primary (read: only) dance move. We call it "Two Thumbs up."

I forgot to mention that the Chicago Ultra was also today - and they were running south of Solider Field, which also happened to be my miles 8-18 (we looped at the 13.1). And between my neon mile signs at every miles, and Devin's bike with her bike sign that said, "Official Race Vehicle," I think we might have confused from people...sorry. No, really, I am...

Coming up to 16, where I saw Nugget (Nolan), Ellie, Dev and my mom, all freezing their butts off. But darn were they cute in their shirts..

He was saying "Cheese!!!" Check out his "Aunt Megathon" shirt over his puff jacket. Oh yeah, and he also calls everyone "Megan" now apparently. Or rather, I think it sounds something like, "May-jen." But whatev.

The crew!

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Thoughts during the last 10 miles:

1. What the f--?

2. Marathoning is hard.

3. Next time I should just keep my fat mouth shut with these ideas.

4. Thank you Chicago Park District - it is nothing short of a miracle that I don't have diareha running down my leg thanks to all the closed bathrooms. What? Do you think kpeople stop running after the Chicago Marathon ends? Oh contrare. I mean, all I need is one along the path - I'm not greedy, I just don't want doo-doo pants.

5. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle......

6. I could do without this north head wind for the second half.

7. Baby Nolan in his puffy jacket....heee heee.....

And the finish!!!! (that's a unbroken string of papertowels by the way) The official finisher time was 4:59. Slowest marathon yet. But it also include a 7-minute potty detour, some time to talk to my family at 16, and a five-week taper. So a slight disappointment, but glad to have finished. In fact, my sister said to me afterwards, "You know, on the out leg (first half) of the race, I was a little worried that you might decide not to do the whole thing, like turn around early." I responded, "Never. Because then I couldn't wear my medal."

I am so, so, so grateful to have this family. I mean, seriously. Who would spend their Saturday morning supporting me making an ass of myself? And Dev rode her bike the entire course, a lot with me to talk and keep me comapny, and then to put up and take down all the signs. She made all the shirt, and finish banner.

But I made this.....

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I was laughing because Ellen kept saying, "You made a medal. No really. You made a medal." Not like a question - more like a statement. And then she actually saw it......

Yeah, it's a rainbow and hearts sun catcher that you put all the little crystals in and bake in your oven. After I finished it last night, I busted out the Easy Bake Overn and whipped up a small dessert, played with my collection of My Little Pony horses, and brushed my Barbie's hair.

And now to the real treat of the day - as we were walking back to the car, my mom tried to ride my sister's bike.

And she's off!

And she can't stop!

And she rides into traffic!

And her asshole daughters are literally on the ground laughing and taking pictures!

Awww. All's good, but then she couldn't get off.

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So there you have it. Word on the street is that Amy won the overall in the Women's 10 Miler Vancouver, and Captian Cactus sprinted to a 1st place finish at the Men's 1/2 Megathon Vancouver. Betcha didn't know I have such elite runners for friends, didja?

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(Update: Just checked out their site and it is really funny - please check it out and give props!)

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I wanted to thank my family again for everything they did. It was really nice having them out there. And Devin for going the millions of extra miles for this. And Amy and CC for being such awesome sports. And to Jenny who also ran a 20-miler to prep for her race and Borsch on his 5k - THANK YOU EVERYBODY!!!!