An Open Letter to a Friend:
Hey Jenny Aniston –
Let it go.
Brad left, like, 20 Botox sessions ago.
Two years ago would have been a good time to stop talking about it.
Sour grapes makes for bad Whine.
I don't care how much Oprah prods or what movie you need to promote - have some self respect and lock it up.
Besides, good old Brad's saddled with a broad who's bat-shit crazy and six kids – who lost that bet, yeah?
So snap it up, and move on.
Injustice and Principle
Why are all the things I hate good for me?
3. Pap smears
Right now, I am mostly concerned with #1. I think we are all aware of my disdain for that particular discipline. But lately, I am coming to terms with the fact that, no matter how much I bike or run, it will never give me the overall tone that swimming does.
And though I am working out almost every day of the week at this point, I continue to gain weight and loss muscle mass. My diet has even improved, though it was never all that bad to begin with. I truly do not understand it. It is BEYOND frustrating at this point, so much so that I am convinced I need to see doctor because something in me in malfunctioning. My final straw was the newly formed dimple at the top of my back left thigh. Like, not on my ass (though they exist there too) but on the thigh part.
When I saw it, it was all I could do to bite back the tears. Call me shallow – whatever – but I truly believe that if I am going to break a sweat working out everyday, I DESERVE not to have dimpled thighs.
And just to beat this pity party to death, I was in the 7-Eleven getting coffee this morning before my appointment, and all these people were buying up crap foods that I would NEVER think about eating – like frosted honey buns – and I thought, “Now how can you eat that stuff and not gain weight, but simply standing two feet from it just added another chin and three dimples to my ass?”
I wanted to choke some innocent people out…and all for a pastry.
Good thing that appointment I was heading to was therapy….
All Night Long
Recently, I have struggled with a nagging bout of insomnia. It’s like I lay my head down at the appropriate hour, but three hours later, there I am tossing and turning.
Like right now.
The worst part is that I will eventually feel sleepy at 3am, which is way too late to wake up at a respectable time, but also not late enough to just stay awake and get up for the morning swim at 5.
I have toyed with the idea of raiding my medicine cabinet and tossing back a few painkillers left over from the kidney surgery, but I can’t bring myself to take them.
So awake it is.