Since a good part of my world for the last few days has been centered around poops - the whens, how often, how much - I am going to take a break from all things bowels for a moment and get to the important stuff.
Specifically, like how peoples are effing up my workouts.
To address this issue, I have constructed a friendly letter to my local YMCA.
As a long-time member and someone who pretty much overnights in the corners of the cardio room, I have a little bone to pick.
See, since I frequent your facility for most of my fitness needs - at least twice daily, five days a week - I believe myself to be a committed member of this wild and crazy thing we call Health and Fitness. I go to several Spin classes, run the treadmill, spend time on the elliptical, etc. Needless to say, I spend a great deal of my life within your walls.
Thus, you can imagine my irritability when I show up for my Monday Spin class, only to find it FILLED.
BUT - After accepting this situation, I decided to run the treadmill (given the seven inches of snow we got this weekend) and imagine my surprise when, at 930am on a Monday, the entirecardio room – treadmills and ellipticals alike – are filled.
I don’t think it takes a genius to know that this atrocity of a morning is the result of one thing, and one thing only – New Year’s Resolutions.
Now listen – I absolutely applaud fitness, and those striving to achieve it. I applaud people wanting to turn their health around, work up a sweat, knock off some of the pounds. Completely and totally support this.
But does EVERYONE have to do it in the month of January? I mean, really.
I honestly believe that people who show themselves to be a committed member of the cause, who show up – day after day, month after month – should get preferential treatment to the classes and facility. I mean, we have established a routine. We have proven ourselves to the long-term, and not just out of a guilt-ridden four-week binge eating marathon.
Yeah, yeah, we all pay the same dues – whatever. It’s just not fair.
It’s the gym equivalent of the high school slacker who never attended a class all semester, but shows up late for the final exam, makes a crapload of noise finding his seat, and disrupts all the good students who spent the last few weeks pulling all-nighters and giving themselves ulcers from coffee and stress. In the end, the slacker’s just going to fall asleep on his desk and get an F anyways, thus prompting his re-enrollment in the same class, only to inevitably engage in the same exact behavior at the end of the next semester.
Of course, I realize preferential treatment will never happen, as we as a society are not really in the business of rewarding those who actually demonstrate commitment and work-ethic, but rather cater to those who half-ass shit and then expect gimme’s, so I suppose I will have to resign myself to waiting out these people who will ultimately detour from the Road to Health.
So be it.
But know that, no matter what the date, what the month, what the season – I will always show up. And at least to me, that counts for something.
Anyone else with this problemo?
P.S. BL tonight.