Tuesday, January 27, 2009

It's Tuesday, And You Know What That Means....

Not since Vicky has America so scorned a BL character as they do Joelle – our Gray Team mistress of all things bullshit, excuses, and nonsensical talking.

Hey, she may very well be a lovely person in everyday life, but we’ll never know -what with all the yapping about having “no fear,” or “having a light” or “opportunity something or another” or frankly whatever else she said as she yabbered away up there at the scale.

Week after week, Joelle has raised Bob’s blood pressure and punched the hearts of America, unifying us in our collective finger-crossings for either her epiphany or her voting off.

And after last week, it seemed that the frustration towards Joelle had reached a head, pushing her to height of public distain, nary to be challenged by another.

Until this week.

So without further ado-

Congratulations, David. You did it, man.

You pulled it off.

Few thought it possible, but you have globbered your way into Joelle’s coveted position.

You managed to swing the pendulum of scorn right in the direction of your oversized, fried chicken eatin’, Marlboro Man smokin’, can’t-be-bothered-to-lose-a-pound-despite-the-fact-that-your-partner-stands-to-pull-down-the-biggest-loss-in-BL-history head.

You sat at home, comfortable in your life of artery-clogging over-eating inactivity (or at the very least – not enough activity). You continued to smoke ‘em if you got ‘em (and apparently, you had ‘em).

Meanwhile, Danny boy was sweating with the heavies over on campus, subjecting himself to Jillian’s neck-vein-bulging torment, and learning how to substitute glazed donuts with Extra sugar free gum and Brita water.

Danny hiked himself up over those hills, while you hiked up your belt notches after a man-date with Burger King.

Listen, I’m not minimizing how hard it is to lose pounds when you’re not in the la-la world of the Malibu campus. Just ask my ass – it’ll tell you.

But man, it doesn’t even look like your trying.

No one is expecting you to pull the number Danny pulled at campus. But any thoughts to maybe not smoking when the cameras were present? Eating a carrot stick instead of a plate full of fried foods?

I don’t know about you, but just having those cameras in my face would force some sort of accountability, no?

Guess not.

So hats off to a job not-so-well-done.

I hope for your health and your future and your life, you will turn it around. I hope the bottom will rise up and hit you, and you will get it.

I hope you find those demons, you chase them down, and you kick their asses. For good.

'Cause what are your other options?
(picture courtesy of my sister Devin and her husband - apparently Tuesdays are celebrated by both Biggest Loser AND laundry)

15 comments:

Alili said...

Ugh, last night's show ripped my heart out. I was SO happy to see that Dan was still losing weight at home though. And thank god he got a haircut. :)

Go Mom Go said...

Oh you hit it on the head!

After the last show I was actually impressed with how hard it seemed that Joelle was working.

BUT Danny boy...ugh! I just wanted to strangle him through the TV. I was so proud of the Green team girl for calling him out. He then was fumbling around with some kind of incoherent crap of my committment but not my heart. Give me a break. His heart ... apparently needs fried chicken. Who knows.

Ugh!

SteveQ said...

I just have to play devil's advocate here. The show is designed to create tension where there isn't any and to make people choose who they want to win (it's for-profit TV, after all!); remember the first season of "Survivor" where everyone seemed to hate the guy who won, until the finale, where everyone showed they really liked the guy.

Former "Biggest Loser" favorites Matt, Suzy and Erik have all regained their weight. David might be making small, reasonable steps (he did give up smoking) that will work in the long run and be maintainable.

Or maybe he needs to lose a foot to diabetes to change his ways...

Eric said...

I couldn't believe this guy last night either. I knew he wasn't trying at home but at the discussion before the vote, he all but came out and said he didn't want to be there. I was like "what are you saying"???

Did you notice on the before and after pictures, that Dan looked smaller than Dave now?

The (IRON) Clyde said...

I got to remember to stop coming here Wednesdays when I have not watched BFL yet.

(That show is the epitome of why TIVO was created, once you get through all the commercials and duplicate footage coming in and out of commericials, there's actually only like 15 minutes of new content every week.)

Flatman said...

ditto clyde.

Last night killed me. What an unappreciative bastard. Why did he even sign up???? I still can't stand Joelle. The old Joelle we all know and love will be back, I am sure of it.

Ellen said...

are those really somebodys and you bitches found them in the laundry and thought it would be fun to take a pic with them?

or

mom wants to know if their hers.

Shawn said...

True Joelle will come back again...Dan does look smaller then Dave...and I hope Dan kicks butt at the finale!

Jewels said...

you definitely said everything I was shouting at the TV last night, except minus the explicit remarks.

Bravo for keeping it clean and intelligent Dave bashing for the idiot who apparently can't do anything for himself or anyone else!!!!!

Amy said...

Those are some BGPs! I started watching it this morning but will have to finish when I get home and before I go to spinning. I hope you ate the rest of the cookies while watching it. That would be fitting.

Damn! Now I want to go home watch BL and eat the frozen cookies. Damn it!

Maggs said...

I have never watched the show even though it's Tivo'd every week. I might have to start watching it because it sounds interesting.

Borsch said...

Wow...that guy pissed me off. I can't believe you sign up for that show not knowing what you are getting yourself into.

And the fact that he spends more time walking around shooting hoops than on the treadmill is ridiculous! If it was easy America wouldn't be FAT! He just has no work ethic and he effed Dan cause of it. GRRRR

prin said...

Well, you can't go saying that's Devin's pic without saying those aren't her undies.

Duane said...

He said he felt trapped? Damn! He was only there one freaking week!

Mommymeepa said...

Whose underwear are those? Did they actually take those out of the dryer and pose with them and who takes their camera to the Laundromat? LOL

You write really good recaps of BL. Thanks. I didn't want Danny to go, but he picked a bad partner to bring with him. I hope he keeps it up.