Today was the kind of day that had me two steps away from smoking.
Yup – buying up a pack of my ol’ favorites, finding a non-iced out spot under a tree, and just smoking away.
Straight up crazy-people-who-live-in-the-nut-house-assisted-living-down-the-street-and-sit-in-the-park-smoking-and-talking-to-the-Easter-Bunny style.
It was that bad.
But since my little chest cold is making is difficult to breathe at the moment, and my snot/mucus is already a strange color, AND I have been working sooooo hard at my hill repeats lately, I figured relapsing on the smoking ultimately wasn’t worth pissing all over my hard effort.
Oh yeah, and the whole cancer/death thing is sort of off-putting, so there's that.
But lemme tell ya – I was PISSED.
So what did I do instead?
I headed over to the Y for a spin class.
As when the 5 o’clock class was over, I still had too much rage in me to get off the bike.
So I blew a hunk of snot out of my nose, filled my water bottle, and stuck around for Round Two – the 6 o’clock class.
To be fair, the second one wasn’t all that tough – it’s instructed by an older gentleman (he has 16-year-old grandkids type old) so it was more like an hour cool-down to the beating I took the hour before.
But when that was finished, I was no closer to normal then I was before today happened.
But I came home, showered, ate dinner, and am now working for the rest of night.
And if I am in the house, then I am not out smoking.
So I guess for today, I FUCKING WIN.
(well, really, compulsive exercise won, but at least it wasn't Joe Camel)