Wednesday, January 16, 2008

True Turnaround in Thinking

I did something today that I have never done before - I went to the gym at 530am to do my long run. I needed to get it in, and it was still way to dark to risk it alone on the lakefront path, so inside it was.

The astonishing thing is that my eyes were actually open at that time. But I didn't sleep last night, so I didn't exactly have to wake up (I messed up at work and needed to get a report done by this morning, so all-nighter it was).

Right off the bat, I knew this run would be trouble. I hadn't eaten in about 12 hours, was running off of an calorie intake of about 600 from the previous day, and my stomach wasn't taking anything in. When I got to the gym, I could barely get my body to walk up the stairs to the front desk. But I still got on that treadmill, armed with my Cliff Bar and water, and started out for a 1:40 run.

And I was right - it was a disaster. First, I started slow, with the intention of speeding up. That never happened. Second, I ate the Cliff Bar in intervals, only to promptly regurgitate it back up in my mouth. Hence, still no food. Third, my heart rate was skyrocketing, and I could barely catch my breath. Of course that makes sense, given the lack of sleep and food.

I hung on for about 65 minutes, and I truly couldn't do it anymore. I battled through that last 30 minutes questioning myself, but when the Cliff Bar reappeared in my throat and my hands started to shake, I knew I should cut my losses.

But here is the thing - instead of berating myself about the shortened workout, I gave myself credit for even showing up and attempting it, given my physical condition. Rather than allowing my mind to check itself into another round of "Motivation Gone-Gone," it actually made me feel okay that I tried, like I broke some sort of mental hurdle.

So today it was a small physical deposit in the bank. But a small deposit is better than no deposit.


Erin said...

Yeah for you! This is exactly what it takes to travel the Ironman road. I give you so much credit. You should be proud of you!

Danielle in Iowa said...

Your run was good for building the mental toughness if anything!

(But I will say that sometimes you gotta know when to give yourself some slack and let a workout slide due to unforeseen circumstances - you don't want to compromise your health!)

Nolan's Mommy said...

That's what Im talking about girl! Celebrate those successes! Take all the shit and put it into the training. Use your workouts to process and make you stronger. You're tough as nails kid and nothing will pull you down. Keep the faith. It will be a celebration bitches at the AZ finish line!!!!

Prin said...

Frankly, I don't want to know about deposits. What you and cheese do in your free time....


I agree. No way in hey would I have been there. Nor would I have toughed over an hour. (hugs)

The Clyde said...

Some days you just need to bag it...I give you credit for even going the first place and sticking it out for how long you did.

Think about it like this, a missed workout every now and then is not going to hurt you in the long's when you start missing a few a week that you will start to get into trouble.

Brent Buckner said...

Good lesson!

Only very occassionally is it best to absolutely bag it... doing something usually beats doing nothing, and somethings add up.

I should take that lesson to heart....

Allez said...

65 minutes is way better than nothing!

Go Mom Go said...

I agree with Danielle -

Mental Toughness!

Great job, now make sure you get some rest!

KrissyGo! said...

Okay first of all, your descriptions of the clif bars coming back up -- oy.

But yes, that change in thinking IS a triumph to be proud of! somewhere that time spent on indoor trainers (bike or run) is worth ~1.5x outdoors, for what that's worth. (That's not enabling, that's legit info!)

But really, girl, maybe set an alarm or something to remind yourself to eat...I know how that gets.