"A couple of bucks, a pocket full of change, and hope for the best - maybe I'll even find a snubbed out cigarette to smoke!"
My friend Bridget, on her preparations to take her infant son on a walk
"I just checked, he's still breathing, so we all win."
Me, when Bridget and Joe arrived home to my babysitting adventures with their son
"Your failures fell."
Cheese, in reference to the workout cards that fell off the Wall of Shame onto the floor
"Crazy weather we're having, huh?"
Asked by every grocery store bagger in the last week, in reference to our 50+ degree days, as if strange crazy weather patterns were unusual to the Chicagoland area
"So yes, there is a really good possibility that the program will be shut down in May, and we will not have jobs."
My boss, in reference to the possible consequence of an ongoing arbitration between the Union of state employees and the Department regarding contract violation, and the likelihood that the outcome will not be in our favor
"Oh my gosh, there's a box of Mike 'n Ikes in my desk! I just found lunch!"
Me, interrupting my boss mid-conversation about my potential job loss, upon discovery of said found object (side note - the box was left there before Christmas - perhaps I should make it into the office more regularly....)
"And our first stop is the fattest city in the United States - CHICAGO!"
Alison Sweeney, talking about the Biggest Loser online weight loss challenge. I was making dinner when I heard this, snapped my neck around, and was like, "Say what?!?" This speaks to my self-centeredness, such that I thought, "But I work out all the time!" I was stunned, but then got a good laugh when the mom-lady fell off the treadmill.
I know, I suck.
Karma's a bitch too - that little crack likely just sealed my fate for a new injury.
Helloooo, plantar fascitis.