It's me, Megan. Remember me?
I know it's been a while since my last visit, and believe me when I say it hurt me more than it hurt you to be away, but I was trying to recover and, you know, that just takes a lot of energy.
Well, oaky fine - I was submerged in pain and self-pity. But mostly pain. See, after the decision, I got a little mopey again. I really tried to be happy shiny Megan again, but I could not quite feel like myself. And despite my weepy performance of the last few weeks, that just is really not me. I like to be funny - after all, sarcasm makes the world go 'round, right? Oh, wait...maybe that was something else....
Anyhoo, I really just did not feel too much like myself. I was mostly focused on pain management, and started to sleep a whole bunch. In the world of psychology, we call that "falling into a big bag of doo-doo." And yes, that is the official diagnosis.
But yesterday I talked to my coach for the first time since the decision. And you know what he told me? STOP. STOP trying to workout, STOP obsessing over the food and weight, STOP tyring to train, just STOP. And I did.
And today, I feel okay. I kept a low profile, worked from home, walked at a slow rate of speed commonly referred to to as the "old man shuffle," and just finished a marathon couch-laying during which I caught up on a week's worth or TIVO'd television (and in case you haven't heard, Friday Night Lights IS the best show on television). No joke, I really haven't even felt good enough to watch the tube. And it seems to have done the trick. Not that I am cured (yes, I have given up that fantasy) but I am now getting ready for beddy-bye and I don't need assistance taking off my pants and putting on the pj's. It's a Christmas miracle!
And tonight my coach sent me a list of food that I need to be eating and those which I should just leave at the grocery store. Too bad the email came a bit late - I hit that bad boy earlier and man did I score some sugary loot! So I guess I need to hand over the candy stash to my sister for the time being (farewell sweet jelly beans! Until we meet again, Chocolate fudge brownie ice cream!) to be locked away from my grubby little hands. And I am pulling out the old food journal, you know the one I started way back when, until I realized how honest it was keeping me from putting garbage in my mouth. Yes, it has emerged, ready to be filled with all sorts of healthy secrets! So bring on the Lean Protein! Cheer for the Fruits and Veggies!
Even though it is mostly food focused, I guess this is as much "training" as I can do for the time being. But hey, if it gets me back on the bike in a few weeks, and lets me go for some short runs by the end of next month, so be it. I kinda like the pain-free days. Hopefully more will follow.
P.S. I tried to post some funny pictures of me to, ya know, drive home my point, but the silly picutre-adding button is mad at me or something so perhaps tomorrow I will grace you with some images.