Back on the Horse (and Felt)

So I promised a tri-related post after that long reflective one, and since I am a woman of her word, here goes.

I can't write about training if I am not actually training, so last night, I made a promise to myself that, on Monday, August 20, I will finally return to the pool. Wait, there's more.

That same week, I am going to go for my first bike ride. In almost six months.

I have been going through physical therapy for much of the last three months, and have only had one major setback, which occurred about a month ago. Since that time, I have had some soreness, but it's been mostly muscular, which we have been working on in PT.

While it makes sense that I would be a little more hesitant to get back on the bike, there is no real good reason that I should not be swimming. Each time I go in, the PT asks if I had started training again, and I feel a little ashamed that I haven't even started back practicing my drills. It is mostly fear, I guess about not being at the level I was when I first got injured. I hate starting things over (which I am sure is no surprise, based on all the posts about change and starting from scratch) but I was going to have to, at some point. There is no better time than the present, right?

The reason I picked to wait another week is that my PT is going to increase the complexities of my workouts to add rotations this week, which is what re-injured me a month ago. So I basically want to see how that goes, without adding anything else that might interfere with my progress. Also, I have a hellacious week of work next week, and to cram in workouts would be difficult. At some point, though, I know the training will become more regular, and IM training will start, so my work schedule can't be an excuse (oh boy will those months be fun!)

Having been injured now for six months, it has become easy to just say that I can't workout because my back hurts. And that was never a lie- my back usually always hurts to some degree. But swimming won't make it hurt anymore, or at least that's what I have been told.

I guess I have reached a point where I need to hold myself accountable for my training. I feel like I have been waiting to feel perfect, to feel completely pain-free, but that day may never come, as is common with back injuries. So the compromise is to start over, take the pain as it comes, and deal with it when it happens.

And now that I have put that out there for all of you guys and gals to read, I also have some external motivation and support. It doesn't feel so scary when I set a goal, as opposed to have something just looming out there. Fear is always a huge part of what prevents me from doing things - whether it is being in a relationship or, alternately, not being in a relationship, or starting something over in the face of lost fitness. I have reached the proverbial decision of "Poop or get off the pot." And since it's not my time to get off the pot without my IM finisher medal, I choose to poop.

Wait. That didn't sound how I thought it would.

Um....

Well, suffice to say that I am taking back my training, and making a choice to do, as opposed to wait.

Ok. That's all.