The Good and the Bad

Thanks for putting up with my crap these last few days. I hate not being able to be my normal, biting, sarcastic self. I hate disappearing and then putting up posts of me complaining about not feeling good.

So I will give some good news and bad news (mostly good).

The Good:
1. My swelling is due to fluid accumulating in a cavity that was left behind my belly skin when they cut me open. I guess this is sort of normal, but I have an appointment next week to check it, just in case it doesn't "drain on it's own." And I would totally put a picture up, but trust me when I say, it is nothing short of absurdly disgusting. Imagine if one were to have a fat water balloon attached to the abdominal area.

2. My back pain is due to the wound that was left when they took the kidney. Once out of the body, it left a large emptiness. So the pain is basically the body trying to sort itself out, and close up the wound that was left behind. It would have been a good thing to have known about these things BEFORE leaving the hospital, because apparently they are normal. But if I am not told to expect them, then I think I am dying when the pain increases and doesn't go away.

3. There's not a ton I can do about my pain, but it will hopefully start to minimize in about another week. At least there is an end in sight.

4. I saw my brother at the hospital - he looks like a completely different person, like 10 years younger then his actual age. I think I scared him a littel though, because I was a ton of pain and trying to explain what the cuts look like (I think I said something like my body is carved up, or it looks disgusting, or something) which triggered me to cry. He and his wife looked sort of startled, because I don't remember the last time my brother saw me cry. He sort of moved to hug me, but I don't usually hug (there are rare exceptions). He texted me later to tell me he felt "sad" when he saw that, which then made me feel bad, because he is feeling all good and new and fresh, and he shouldn't have to see me in pain and upset. It's like a buzz kill.

5. The doctor said that, when I feel like it, I can RIDE MY BIKE!!!!!! He said, "But not on the street - no street yet." As long as I keep it in the trainer, I can go for about 30 minutes. No running for at least another week, and I can start swimming by Friday (as long as my scars look healed).


The Bad:
1. PAIN!!!!!!!! Still there, still hard, still having trouble wearing pants. My back pain is almost worse then the stomach swelling and scar pain, 'cause I can't get comfortable for anything.


The End:
So the good outweighs the bad. I made sure to ask a TON of questions about what to expect (because I am not getting caught off-guard again with this) and made sure I was given the green light regarding training (because I am not going to catch shit about trying to get back too soon).

I hope this is my my last post about this nonsense. No more complaining, no more whining. Pain is pain, and at least I know I should have it. And if I know, then I can deal with it.

A "Normal Megan" post will return tomorrow.