Inside Out

First, let me just start by saying that I have been pretty much a self-pity downer for the last few days - all "woo is me" and what-have-you.

Yeah, that Megan's gone. Or at least she's taking a bit of a vacation.

Thanks for hanging in there and dealing with her while she visited.

Now back to the regular scheduled programming.

I woke up at 3AM this morning to do my long run. Actually, the alarm was set for 4am, but I was awoken by phone call an hour earlier than expected, so 3 it was.

This should have been my first clue that things would not work in my favor today (hold on, this is not a downer post - I said that Megan was on vacation - hang in there, it gets better).

I got out of my house by 430 (good), prompty fell on the ice outside my front door (bad), considered calling it a day right then but instead dusted myself off (good), got in the car and realized I forgot the IPod (bad) but the ultimately made it to the gym by 5 (excellent!)

The run was to be 2hour and 45 minutes. At about 30 miunutes, my heart rate skyrocketed. I tried to manage it - to no avail. Kept going, but by 1 hour 15 minutes, I was beaten.

I worked it out in my head that I would just switch this run with Friday's run, and try it then. The flip side is that it should be warmer, so perhaps I can take it to the streets.

The problem?

Well, let's see...According to my doctor:

Megan is compeltely depleted of electrolytes.

Megan has no magnesium or potassium.

Megan thought she knew more than everyone else and stop taking her supplements.

Megan needs to eat more than coffee, water, bananas, and the occasional Go Lean bar and bowl fo cereal. For the day.

Megan needs to stop whining about having no appitite and choke down whatever she can, even if she wants to hurl.

Megan need to have more salt.

Megan needs to drink Ensure.

Megan is basically an idiot who is throwing away two years of training cause she fell into the pitty pot and couldn't find her way out until yesterday. And boy was it stinky down there...

The doctor also said that the complete depletion state I am in is contributing to my muscle reactions, my calves stiffening, and my hip locking.

So I am back on the supplements, salt water and whole bunch of other stuff that should set me right.

This is all my fault. I take total ownership of this. I knew better, but I let myself get all worked up into a frenzy, all anxious and stressed, and it took a toll on the eating and sleeping. Now here I am, trying to be reactive rather than proactive, and that's not really the place you want to be in so close to the race.

Oh, and this weekend marks the one year anniversery of my back injury. This time last year, I got taken out of the race. And here I am, effing around with this stuff.

I should kick my own ass.

Seriously.