Well, it’s official: Cheese and I signed our lease today.
We are the proud renters of a two bedroom, one bathroom apartment, complete with an actual parking space and separate kitchen. As in, separate from the bedroom/living room/bathroom, AKA my current studio.
It’s kind of a lot to take in right now. But I am not complaining, not at all. In fact, right now, as I sit here working until the wee hours of the morning (again), with Cheese snoring away behind me, butt peeking out from the sheets, and the smell of his feet thick in the air, I can’t help but be excited about this. I mean, things won’t totally change – he’ll still travel all the time, leaving me to fend for my lonesome most weeks of the month. But when he comes home, he will come home to Chicago.
So aside from the big paper signing, life here is stable, albeit is stupid busy again this week. I keep telling myself, “Just get through this week, just this week” but honestly, it’s more like getting through the next two weeks.
I mean, I am at the point where I have to calm myself down just to ask, “Okay, where on Earth do I actually start?” Tonight I am making some headway, and it’s only 1AM. I am hoping to make even more by about 5AM, at which time Cheese will be getting ready to leave (he was just assigned to a south suburb of Chicago so he is actually here for a little while longer!!!) and I will try to workout and go to the office.
Let’s see how that works out.
Ten bucks says I am sneaking into the bed at about 4 o’clock for a quick-nap-turned-four-hours-later-and-I-am-panicking-about-being-late.
It may have happened like that before….
A couple people have lately posted about feeling like they have to censor themselves about the stuff they post - be it 'cause family members/bosses/coworkers have discovered the blog, or maybe they just worry about offending. Or that they have started writing for other people instead of themselves.
I have found myself to be having these issues for a little while now. More and more, I write and then re-write so many posts because I worry about the reaction. The crap that once flew out of my mouth I now sit with, pick apart, examine, and fret over whether or not its safe for human consumption. Moreover, I freak out that readers might get offended if I come off as too bitchy or whatever.
So after a freak out yesterday regarding whether or not people might misinterpret the whole "walkers to the right" post, I have made this decision.
No matter what, I will alway be at risk of offending. But a lot of times, I also say some really nice stuff too. And if I am lucky, funny shit gets in between the cracks. But when this whole blog started, I was just being me, and I really need to get back to being me.
I'm flawed, sarcastic, politically incorrect, sour, sweet, lazy as hell, driven to extremes, crabby, carefree, sick-of-it-all, and loving-life. I eat too much candy, workout obsessively, and sometimes wear my pjs to the office (okay fine, A LOT of the time). And mostly, I am all of these in one hour.
And maybe it means I say something about babies and elderly that might offend someone's sensitivities. Oh well. As long as I am not running down your granny in my Hundyai, then what's the biggie?
So no more fretting, no more apologies, re-writes or retractions.
Consider yourselves warned.