Friday, September 12, 2008

Ramblings of a Tired Mind

How is Paris Hilton still relevant? And for a grown ass woman, why does she still talk like a baby?

I don’t know one single person outside of my brother Nolan who watches “The Real World.” So why’s it still on?

My skin has been revolting against me.

Celebrities need to shut the fuck up when it comes to politics. This goes for both Dem and Republican supporters. And yeah, I’m talking to you - Madonna, Matt Damon, Daddy Yankee, and Chuck Norris. Are they entitled to their own opinions? Sure, we all are. But still – they need to shut the fuck up. And especially that Russell Brand douche – he doesn’t even live in this country, yet MTV allows him to get his ass on stage and vomit verbal diarrhea all over the Music Awards. Apparently having a side part in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” gives him the commentary rights of a CNN broadcaster. Well, at least he biased like one.

I have run exactly three times in three weeks. Should come as no surprise that I have gained more than six pounds over that same time frame. Needless to say, I am not feeling so hot about myself. In fact, I feel much like a stuffed sausage most of the time.

On that note, I have somehow started drinking soda and eating cheese. I NEVER drank soda before. But some reason, I find myself drinking it with almost every meal. It really doesn’t make it any better that it is diet soda. And the cheese? Yeah, no idea what that’s about.

I have eaten more burritos in the last seven days then I have in the last seven years. Hmm.

My street is lined with maple trees or some type of tree that covers my car with this sappy syrup sticky stuff every morning. It’s like driving a Hyundai pancake, but without the pancake.

I now have the apartment to myself for the next three weeks….what should I do first?

16 comments:

MissAllycat said...

I must admit...my mind went straight to the gutter when you said you were "eating Cheese".

:)

Happy Friday!!

Flatman said...

ditto ally!!! lol.

First to-do item...eat a burrito!

IM Able said...

Wanna hear a trick? You can get the sap off with non-acetone nail polish remover.

True story. Michael gets up every Saturday morning at the ass crack of dawn to wash and wax and vacuum and likely have sex with his car. And he got sap on it a couple weeks ago and had a FIT trying to get it off.

But then he googled it. It was like the sixth thing he tried. Would have been my first. Regardless, non-acetone nailpolish remover.

And if it makes you feel any better, I'm right there with you on the running front AND the sausage front. Although cheese and I have always been friends. The dairy variety, that is.

I'm rambling now.

The (IRON) Clyde said...

Did you see little miss Lohan is going to marry her lesbo DJ friend?

.....

.....

.....


AWESOME!!!

stronger said...

what should you do first? by the sounds of prior descriptions, you should air out the place.

momo said...

yep, i was going to say you should start with a diet soda detox. :-)

i have to admit, i love coke though - but not the diet kind. shhh and don't tell my coach, i have one after every long ride. its my recovery drink. i'm not really sure its acually considered a recovery drink, but i can't help it! it tastes good!! :-)

Prin said...

What to do? Eat cheese and drink soda while watching tv in mismatched clothes after having not showered for a couple of days. Yey!

No mike n ikes?

You've suckered the man into living with you. Your need for being skinny is gone now. :D

Mommymeepa said...

HAHAHA to your post and everyone's comments especially missallycat. I was thinking TMI when you said you were eating cheese. LOL.

Hang in there girl. I"m righ there with ya on the whole not eating right for a few weeks. You know what you need to do.

Take care,
Melissa

21stCenturyMom said...

hmmm.. you sound a little cranky. I think the diet soda is eating your brain so number 1 thing to do - toss it out!

Second - start working out. You need the high.

No no.. first - TURN OFF THE TV! Especailly MTV. That's enough to make anyone cranky. I had to turn off the VMAs because I got so sick of that hairy British douche bag and all those 'stars' with their weird outfits and their schtick. If they had any real talent they wouldn't need the masks and the elephants, now would they?

Anne-Marie Kennedy said...

Colin not only watches "Real World," he DVRs it, so he can catch up on episodes he has missed. One of those scary revealations that occurred after the "I Do"s. AHHHH!!!

RunBubbaRun said...

Maybe the departure of the "cheese" for three weeks is making you crave cheese.

The sode thing, switch to tall cans of Arizona tea, twice the sugar gotta luv that..

Cindy Jo said...

Right there with you on that celebrity rant!

I have also been on some burrito kick - wtf?!? I normally almost NEVER eat them, now prolly 10 in the past 2 weeks!

I am also a stuffed sausage, only able to wear 2 of my 30+ pairs of jeans right now!!!

Mark said...

You BEST back the F off of Chuck Norris before you are struck by his mighty roundhouse kick!

Just a friendly warning ;)

Steve Stenzel said...

Yes, yes, YES! I second everything you mentioned here!!

Cheese is delicious. Don't fight it.

And I love the line about the Hyundai pancake!! HA!

Eric said...

They DO need to shut up. The problem isn't their opinions because you are right, they have every right to their opinions. It's the fact that they and the media give them this air of their opinions meaning more than the average person.

Erin said...

You're hilarious. Ditto on the celebrity stuff. Seriously, why do they get a soapbox? They're not any more knowledgeable about any of this than the rest of America. Ugh.

Oh, and you've run exactly 3x more than I have. Double-ugh.