Saturday, December 30, 2006

For the Ladies

This post is not really tri-related, but gives a flavor of the type of person I am. Men, if you are a dude, consider yourself pre-warned. The following contents might be a bit hairy (hahaha).

So for those of you that don't know me personally, I am part Irish and part Croatian. My full name is really Irish, but I have dark skin, eyes and hair. And I tan easily, which is cool. Anyhoo, with this ethnic make-up, I have sadly been the recipient of the hair gene, you know, the one that covers your body with unsightly hair that requires regular maintenance. Yeah, I was totally the girl in grammar school that the boys also asked, "Why is the hair on your arms so dark?" and "Why do you have a mustache?" I was the first girl to learn to shave her legs and I was, like, in the third grade, and I secretly shave my arm hair in the fifth grade, which then just prompted people to ask where my arm hair went. Yeah.

As an adult, this hair maintenance has been made somewhat easier, what with the invention of wax, electrolysis, what-have-you. And it is here that my story begins. See, I am a frequent user of the wax, and yes, that means I pay someone to remove my hair by ripping it out with hot wax. And frankly, most women do this, for legs, underarms, and other unmentionable places. Even men, and especially triathletes. Shaving just gets so tedious, right guys? And the stubble...don't even get me started.

So today, I went to get the moo-stache waxed. Oh, laugh. Get it out.. Done? Good. Now, to be fair, I am not exactly BigFoot, but I get self-conscious enough (see above for reason) at even the slightest peach fuzz (for the record, my sisters tell me they can't even see it, but they may be just being nice) So I go to my regular spot and everything goes as planned. After I leave, I go to the grocery store, and suddenly I notice my top lip burning. I touch my tongue to it, and it feels horrible. I pay for my groceries, and return to the car, pull down the mirror and low-and-behold, she waxed the skin right off the top lip. So, in an effort to remove the unsightly hair, I now have an unsightly open bleeding wound, which will develop into an unsightly scab. No hair, but a sore that will be mistaken as herpes. Awesome. Awesome.

Guys, if you think, "Wow, is Megan unlucky for having so much hair, thank god my girlfriend/wife doesn't have this problem," let me let you in on a little secret: She does. She too, probably engages in all these rituals simply so that you can say, "Oh, my girlfriend/wife doesn't have a moo-stache." But alas, she does. That little razor on the top shelf or hidden in the back of the drawer? Not for her legs, my man.

So let this be a lesson (of what kind I am not sure) but if you are a lady, be careful who you let put hot wax on your body, and if you are a dude, appreciate the pain and scarring associated with making our bodies socially-acceptable and hair-free. And with that, I have to go, my lip needs some more Neosporan.

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