Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Post #2 - Even More Random

Well, there's that...
I think it says something about your day when your biggest accomplishment is “not drowning.” What exactly it says, I don’t know, but once the chlorine high from all the swallowed water wears off, I am sure I’ll have an answer.

Rewarded for Stupidity
Speaking of accomplishments, I paid my parking tickets today. Oh yeah, it’s plural. And guess what? Laziness really does have a price, because when you get a parking ticket and throw it in your back seat and it slips under the spare tire you still haven’t put back in your trunk, and starts to party with the tickets left there from the last few months – well, I sort of forgot about them and the shit adds up. Like, a lot. So after signing my name over in blood to the City of Evanston, I decided my reward for paying my severely overdue parking tickets (never you mind that it was my fault they were overdue in the first place) was a piece of cake from the bakery. 'Cause every good deed deserves a piece of cake, people. Life rule #302. Write it down.

Potty Mouth
And speaking of shit, I have decided that I cuss WAYYYYYY too much. It came to my attention this weekend at the race, and I thought, “Huh, no one else seems to be cussing.” And people, I cuss at everything – it used to be for emphasis, now it’s just like everyday language. For example, in a greeting, “Hey! What the fuck is up?” Or a simple observation, “Waukegan sure is a shithole.” Or an update on the weather, “Fuck me it’s hot!” Point being is that my cussing is far beyond the blue streak and more like the Pride rainbow right now, so I am going to try to tone it down a touch.

Much Better
And following this point, I decided I am going to replace said cuss words with nice, happy words. For example, “No shit” will become “No Snapple!” And “Shut the Fuck Up!” is now “Shut the Front Door!”

Don't Hate
Yeah, so here’s some embarrassment for the day: I happened to click upon the movie “Hairspray” (you know, the one where John Travolta is the tranny? Yeah, that one) the other day when I was lounging around the apartment. Problem is: I can’t stop watching it. No seriously. Like, I know the words to all the songs now, after only three days, and I sing along while I ride my bike. Is this weird?


Well, Frappacino Off.


Danielle in Iowa said...

Shut the Front Door! I can't believe you thought we weren't cussers! I am pretty sure I have scarred my undergrads with the words that have come from my mouth when we are out in the field...

And at least you weren't watching High School Musical over and over again :-)

Molly said...

My friend in Middle School used to say "Jeeez Crow" and I picked up on it and started saying it. At some point my Mom had had it and said, Molly I know that you are tying not to say, "Jesus Christ" and that is just not right. Ooops...never said that agin!
Take Care

Wipaddler said...

I don't care what you say. Your shit's funny!

Prin said...

1. Good on you for not drowning. I think that deserves a #302 also.

2. #302, seared into my memory and this life rule will be applied liberally and frivolously.

3. I'm a potty mouth too. Especially by myself. My poor car doesn't know any other words.

4. LOL!! I started my comment before finishing reading so I could comment as I read, and I finally get Danielle in Iowa's comment. Hilarious.

5. I's hatin'. I thought we could be friends. Now I see that's not possible.


Michelle J said...

You know Meg, the more and more I read your blog, the more I wish we could hang out together! :-) Don't change one thing baby - you are the best!

Duane said...

Well shit, who will I cuss with now? Frick!

the crazy jogger said...

man tht's funny :D

lauren said...

next time i see you, i'll tell you about the time i cussed out a driver. on michigan avenue. on a saturday. at 1 pm. for 30 seconds. as usual on michigan avenue on a saturday afternoon, i was in a group of abut 40 strangers and they were silent. for the next block. and then i realized what a potty mouth i have... you were in the wrong van :)

MissAllycat said...

#302. Noted.

I also swear too much. Last winter I tried to give it up, so I wore a rubber band on my wrist and snapped it every time I swore. My problem? I'd accidentally swear, and then realize it...and my reaction? Was To Swear. So then I'd have to snap it twice. Gah! :)