Monday, July 21, 2008

Back to Self

Since I have no idea how to format posts with pictures, I figured I'd post the pictures at the end so the words don't get screwed up.

Just think of them as the treat at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box!

So, at some point last night, the train came and took the Drama Mama back to where she came from.

But what she left in her wake was two empty bags of gummy bears, a broken bike, and some black-marker-stained arms that read, “462.”

But it was good to see her sorry ass go.

But before I say anything else, I owe you all (and my family) a huge THANK YOU for all the words of support. I even got teary during my morning meeting when I thought about all the comments and emails that people sent – and they were all right. Every one of them. I tried to respond to everyone, but some people don’t have email address attached to their profiles.

And even by last night, I decided I am really okay with it all.

I mean, seriously – I quit a race. I didn’t kill anyone, steal a baby, drown any elderly at the pool, or kick a three-legged dog. In the big picture, quitting a race is not my largest character flaw.

I have MANY bigger ones than that.

And a good therapist to help deal with them.

So Sunday was not my day – I made my mistakes.

The biggest of which was that, while I was so busy training my body, I neglected to train my mind.

You simply can’t do one without the other. What good is a strong body without the mental will to use it and push it? Cheese said to me, “It never really seemed like you wanted to do that race anyway.” And he was right - I showed up Sunday with that attitude. Thus, I had done myself in long before that fog rolled in over Lake Michigan.

When I got home from the race, all sour and pouty, I had a friend request on Facebook (don’t get me started on this time-suck). Anyway, I clicked to the profile, and there was a quote, “If you believe you can, or believe you can’t, you’re right.”

How true, and how fitting for yesterday.

And I made my choice, and actually learned something about myself from that choice.

So not all was lost.

But it’s time to move on.

Oh yeah – and lest I forget – the “phantom poop” Clyde referred has yet to make its appearance. I thought I felt it creepin’ around this morning, but alas, it remains elusive.

Oh come on! You knew I had to leave you with something so inappropriate it requires bleach for your mind’s eye.

Blogger meet up at the OG night before. And the crew includes: Me, Erin, Alili, and xt4. On his post today, xt4 commented that he got home that night and his face hurt from laughing. It was funny because, after leaving the OG, I was talking to Cheese and said the exact same thing. You cannot believe how funny these people are.

Clyde and I walking the mile down the beach to the start - it was a point-to-point swim. Now, the cold water had affected my memory, but I believe the conversation went something like this:
Clyde: Wait, now tell me again about your pre-race nutrition.
Me: Okay, last time, and listen good. You heat the oatmeal first, then stir in the chocolate chips...
Clyde: Okay got it.
Me: And then once that's good and melted, toss in a couple of gummy bears for a colorful presentation, and voila! Your all amped up and ready to go!
Clyde: Huh. And all I had was a banana and a Power Bar. I'll have to remember that...I bet you'll have a GREAT race with that combination! (in genuine awe)
Me: (shrugs) Probably. But you know, I'm an Ironman. Have I mentioned that?
Clyde: Only eight times this morning, but it never gets old.
Me: (smiles modestly) Yeah, I know.
Clyde: By the way, don't you think that pillow you stuffed in the back of your shorts might create some drag in the water?
Me: Oh Clyde (shakes head). Such a newbie. It's for extra warmth, but don't worry - you'll learn these little tricks along the way.
Clyde: I am so glad I know you. You're so wise. You're going to KILL out there!
Ahhh. The last picture taken before I tested the water for the first time. This is Dennis (RunBubbaRun - he was super nice, and a crazy ultra runner), Clyde and me. Notice the fog in the background over the water. Brutal. But at this moment, I am all smiles, at least for another ten seconds.
Then all hell broke loose.
So there ya have it. I'd post pictures of my ride and run but...uh..nevermind.


Wipaddler said...

I'm glad your feeling better!

Seriously? Oatmeal with chocolate chips and gummy bears? I may have to try that some time!

Oh yeah and I once had sushi for breakfast. I had to run to the store to get some treats for work and the sushi guy was there making the take away containers for the day so he made me 2 rolls at 7 am. I finished one on the way to work and the 2nd when I got there, still the best sushi I've ever had.

Tea said...

Ahhhahahahaha! I can tell you are feeling better! Great post. I love the pictures.

xt4 said...

Great to have you back, girl. Onward!

The Clyde said...

You forgot to tell them how I told you I swim in those baggy shorts with a belt, that is the secret to my swim success.

I'm back too finally, a day of pizza and gyro's helped with that greatly. Burp.

Today I bought 37 inner tubes. I spent all evening taping them all over the frame of my bike. I also removed my seat stem and replaced it with my bike pump and put my seat on top of that. It's not so aero anymore, but yeah, I'll never have to worry about a double flat DNF again.

The Young Family said...

Glad today brought some sunshine into your world! New days, new thoughts, new chances!


Alili said...

She's back! Excellent turnaround-now go eat my gummy bears:)

Go Mom Go said...

I missed the chance to post yesterday. So here goes. Regardless of this race you ROCK! You are solid in all that you do and you know that this is not likely to happen again. So, get over it move on and you will be so much stronger for it.

Enough rah-rah...that Oatmeal with the chocolate chips...hmmm sounds good. Now the gummy bears part...can I put those on the side?

Peace sister!

tri-dogmom said...

glad you are feeling better... keep up the great attitude.

I've toed the line start to finish when my mind wasn't 100%... or even 50%. I can absolutely say that I know I would have been better off not doing the race vs struggling the entire way.

You are totally right.. you need to be in it mind and body or it just doesn't work. You can't fake the distance.. MAYBE in a sprint, but not a half IM!!!

Anonymous said...

All I will say about your post yesterday is that, a) I wish I knew you needed support and I would’ve let you climb on my back and ride me like a horse while I swam you to the finish and b) those are the types of moments in our life that make us stronger as a person. *hugging you right now*

It is difficult to realize ‘what good could possibility come out of those types of moments’, but as you have already done, you didn’t drown an elderly person (god where did you come up with that one) or steal a baby, or stab me in the porta-potty line.

For some reason and there is a reason (you may not know it yet), that made you turn around to shore and that is ok. You shed some tears and probably yelled a few curse words – perfect - great way to release the demons.

I think your problem is that you haven’t pooped yet, maybe that is the issue, you are so backed up girlfriend. We need to get the poop patrol out i.e., Correctol or Ex-lax.

But you are BACK.

And this is the fiery and sassy girl that I met in the porta-potty line. All smiles and laughs and joking.

I’ll never forget your facial expression after I said ‘Are you Megan?” and you are like, ‘Yeah, who are you?’ was priceless.

I wish I would’ve had a camera on me.

How funny is that?!? Standing in the porta-potty line and I recognize you from the blogger world. Priceless.

I really hope we can get together before or after IM. If you find yourself in Madison, let me know. I am on facebook as well, so I am going to go out there now and STALK you.

You are an AMAZING person, you are an IRONMAN, you are a WONDERFUL and CARING sister, you are so many things to so many people!

Flatman said...

YAY...glad you are feeling much better. Hope the elusiveness doesn't elude you much longer... ;)

Prin said...

That last pic is so eerie. I wouldn't have gone near that water. *shudder*

I'm glad you feel better.

And I couldn't help but laugh at the fact that there was a noobie who commented on your DNF post. What a good time to pop onto the scene, eh?

Hey, noob! Megan kicks ass. She's an Ironman, in case you missed that part.

Erin said...

Atta girl! Way to get back in the saddle.

Oh, and I think I want you to cook for me. Chocolate chips and oatmeal? Never thought about that before, but seriously, BRILLIANT!!!!

Stef said...

This is good. Glad you are feeling better. Great pics!

RunBubbaRun said...

Glad to hear your feeling better about the whole thing.

It is just a race, you did the most important one in Arizona already, so no biggie..

At least you got to eat some of the gummie bears, not sure about that mix thou, I would have to go straight to the portajohn after that..

It was fun to meet you out there, me a crazy ultrarunneR? nayy, but if you ever head out the trails let me know.

Kathleen said...

Less oatmeal & more chocolate chips please.

Welcome back, Ironman :-)