Thursday, July 24, 2008

Too Tired to Think of a Title

I would spend some more time giving a training update, but there's not a ton to embelish on when you've rode, swam and run once this week.

So here's some stuff non-training related.

The door on my refrigerator fell off today.

Any other day, I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass.

We all know I pretty much eat canned tuna and caramel rice cakes and call it a meal.

Needless to say, the fridge of often devoid of anything more than bottled water (for guests – I drink tap), sugar free Red Bull, and (if I’m training) turkey slices (pre-packaged of course). I am nothing if not the epitome of healthy eating. I know. Be jealous.

But see today is important. Today is the day I prepare for my weekend houseguest.

And this is not the usual houseguest (read: Cheese). No, in fact this houseguest is one step above Cheese.

It’s Cheese’s mom.


Just his mom. No Cheese.

She’s coming in to chill with me, see the city, and spend some quality time with the woman who has forced her only son to actually become a man.

A couple months back, I mentioned that it would fun to have her come to Chicago for a weekend and hang, and this is the weekend.

We've got tons of stuff planned, and I love being a tour guide to my city. I LOVE having visitors, especially when it's summer in Chicago (read: if you ever feeling like dropping in, give me a call - I live for this shit).

But the problem here is, Cheese's mom is staying with me.

In my dorm room of an apartment.

With my fridge door on the ground.

Even though I suggested a hotel, Cheese thought it would be good for us to have some "girl time." He even suggested that it would be okay for her to sleep in my bed – with me – until a minor argument led to the decision to get an air mattress.

‘Cause it wasn’t bad enough that I was going to ruin her image of a hot shot, ultra glam, big city, high class badass professional woman when I picked her up in my 8 year old shit box car and take her to my studio apartment with 32 years of life crammed into it. Now the poor woman has to stare at the open gaping evidence of my bachlorette lifestyle. At least with the fridge door shut, I could have thrown some fruit in a bowl and lit a candle to make it all look sort of presentable.

Naw, I'm just kidding about the image thing. I think I pretty much solidified my "image" when I showed up to their house for Christmas and literally made a pig of myself by eating everything in sight, wore the same clothes for three days, and sat at the dinner table in my bathrobe. Yup, nothing but class here, folks.

But what can I do about it now? I have done my best to warn her about the living situation (although no one is ever actually quite prepared for how truly small it is until they see it – my own mom had to catch her breath when I opened the door). She seems to like me anyways - even crocheted me an afgan for my bed. It's pink.

So as long as she doesn’t open the cabinets and witness the Cheez-It habit, open the closet door, peer too closely at the corners of the room, look inside the microwave, or check under my desk, we should be okay.

Last night, I went to bed at 5:30 AM (work), and then had to get up two and half hours later (work). My patience is short, and the mood is ripe for a rant. Here ya go:

So there has been this thing bothering me for some time, but I sort of forgot about it until Mommymeepa recently reminded me.

Here’s the thing: I have noticed this trend, perhaps an epidemic, that is plaguing many of the young hipsters here in Chicago. At first, I though it was a fluke – you know, some young trendy-wannabee high schooler or artsy-type making a statement. But then, more and more, it was all around me.


In July.

Like, with shorts and sandals.

Like, the one’s you wear around your neck to keep the winter chill at bay.

Scarves are ALL OVER.

I see them on the street, at Ravinia, in the bookstore – I can’t get away from them.

When "Stuff White People Like" first noted this epidemic, I thought, “Oh how funny and true” but now it’s IN MY BACK YARD!!!!

I mean, what is the point of this? Is it a fashion statement? Is 95 degrees and humid not warm enough? Are these folks possibly anemic? Are they being used a hicky covers?

(Ewww….hickeys…….Remember when that was cool, at age 13, when you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend? No? Me neither....I heard it once...somewhere)


Back to point.

For any of you currently try to pull of this ridiculous trend – take note – Try some thing else. If you need to set yourself apart as trendy or hip, get a tattoo, pierce your nipples, vote for Obama - I don’t care.

Just save the scarves for weather below 40 degrees. Don’t worry – it’s like a month away.


Danielle in Iowa said...

While I think the scarf thing is weird, there is indeed one argument for it - over air-conditioning. I have been known to wear a scarf in my office in the summer. I also have a comforter. Of course, I usually remember to take said scarf off (and the comforter) before going outside. For some reason I don't think all these hipsters just forgot to take off their scarf...

Tri-Angle said...

Cheese's Mom
Holly Shit
Good Luck with that Fridge Door thing.

Andra Sue said...

Totally agree, re: summer scarves. Really, just reading "summer scarves" makes me think, WTF??? I have yet to see this trend in Dallas, but if I do? I will pull the damn thing off someone's neck and choke them with it. It's 105 degrees here. I have no shame.

Good luck this weekend with your FMIL. If it makes you feel any better, I get all freaked out about having guests and I have an actual house with guest rooms and shit. :/

stronger said...

I'm thinking duct tape...

Prin said...

O...m...g. The mom? I would die. I'd spend the weekend in the bathroom fetal in that space between the toilet and the shower where all the diseases are.

You're a brave lady.

The fridge? Three words: Bungee. They work like a charm. :D

The scarves? Dunno. I don't get out much. Sounds not-so-bright though. Remember that children's story when the wife had a scarf on and refused to take it off and one day, the hubber convinced her to and she took it off and her head fell off or something? I don't remember the end entirely. Blocked it out so that I may survive.

Anyway... Maybe they're just trying to keep their heads from falling off or something.

TriSaraTops said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TriSaraTops said...

Oops...sorry 'bout that delete!

Scarves are freaking ridiculous. I concur 100%. My students were wearing them in June, and I was like AREYOUFREAKINGKIDDINGME. Which was pretty much my reaction when I saw a few of them starting to peg their jeans, a la 1989.

Mommymeepa said...

Just saw a 12 year old in shorts, shirt with spaghetti straps, cute flip flops, and a safari print SCARF!! I don't get it either, but at least they are not wool scarves. Now what would be hilarious is if Cheese's mom shows up at the door with a scarf on. :-)

Hope it goes well with Cheese's Mom. I was just curious does she read your blog?

I'm supposedly doing homework in Panera Bread and your post made me LOL and a couple of people looked.

Take care,

Kathleen said...

As long as the scarf is worn with the huge bug eyed sunglasses, then its cool :-)

K.Michele said...

Good luck with the whole boyfriend's mother in my studio apartment thing. I'm impressed. If I were ever faced with a similar situation, the fight would be about more than whether an air mattress was necessary(more along the lines of whether a new boyfriend was necessary). Which is likely why I'm single!

Comm's said...

This is why I eat dehydrated camp food and canned meals. I can't cook, so nothing is ever left over.

The Big Cheese said...

For the Record:
At no time did I suggest/support that you should sleep with her...I was the one that told you to go buy a air mattress to sleep on. I am seeking a retraction to this story.

Wipaddler said...

That's the funniest thing I've read in a long time. I would be freaked out too! As for the fridge door, you have a landlord right? See if he has a spare fridge that you can have because you shouldn't have to live with out that even if you don't use it

Megan said...

Cheese - I do not tell lies on my blog. We did have an arguement about this (two, in fact). It was after the second one that you told me to go to Target and get an air mattress. You are the King of Selective Memory.

But we are having a great time - weather was PERFECT - so I forgive any forgetfullness on your part.

The Big Cheese said...

Nope. You are incorrect. Sleeping with my mom is creepy. I should know...wait never mind that last part. Shit.

Megan said...

Cheese - you simply cannot call "just kidding" or plead ignorance to your suggestion of sleeping arrangments just because everyone else calls you out for being "weird." Your suggestion was weird before anyone else had anything to say about it - now your just embarressed. There is no argument here - you suggested it, I am not retracting my memory of our discussions.

Discussion closed.

And my air mattress? It suits me just fine.

Mommymeepa said...

you two are just too funny!!

Mommymeepa said...

you two are just too funny!!

The Young Family said...

I must admit, I love reading your blog.. and now the comment section too!! Too funny. I wonder though, does Cheese's mom read your blog? lol. Yes, we know Cheese was wrong, sorry dude - don't know you, don't know Megan either - but I 'sides with her!

Scarf thing... hmmm. don't get it. Then again what do I know from Seattle I am perfectly happy wearing socks with sandals. Ever watch the Home Makeover show? When in the Seattle area, they kept asking why people were wearing shorts in Nov? Hmmm. 40' and shorts. Good to me.

Good luck with the fridge... I like the bungee idea.. always duct tape, that some real class right there!


The Clyde said...

Megan, she's had Cheese living with her for all his life. I highly doubt ANYTHING you do will shock this woman.

Did he say if his sister was going to be in town too? ;-)

The Big Cheese said...

You motherfucker. Just for that I will literaly be on your shoulders for Chicago.

riderpitts said...

u could always take the scissors to the pink afgan and join the scarf club.