Wednesday, July 30, 2008


Yeah, so I have been MIA for the last few days. Kinda got a lot on the brain right now. I actually did a post yesterday, but realized it sounded really whiney – and honestly, I have nothing to whine about. Well, expect for the current state of the presidential election, but I try to keep politics off the Project.

So until I can organize my thoughts about what’s going on (‘cause it’ll come in the next few days), here’s a smattering of what popped into my brain today.

Big Red
In the locker room after my swim today, I learned that, when it comes to true red heads, there’s a lot of truth behind the saying, “The curtains match the rug.”

And speaking of body hair, I am so sick of mine. Rare is a week in which I don’t have to pluck, shave, or wax some part of my body. It all just makes me want to run away to Eurpoe and get adopted by Madonna – I mean, her daughter seems to be the only person I see that can get away with a rockin’ unibrow and ‘stache that would make any 13-year old boy jealous.

And I Didn't Even Enjoy It
A text exchange with my ssiter:
Devin: Guess where I am?
Me: Where?
Devin: At [Car Fixing Place].
Me: Oh yeah? Ask them if they remember me. I'm the girl they fucked twice over when they fixed my "flat tire."
Devin: Hold on...yeah, Joel says he remembers you. Foul mouth, pretty face, tears flowing like a river.
Me: Good. Well, tell them that my brakes still suck, my ass still hurts, and my bank account is still crying about the $1100 that was stolen from it.

In hindsight, what I should have done was bring her a condom and some AstroGlide.

Gym Rats
And speaking of gym, my usual YMCA was undergoing maintenance, so I had to visit my old one – the hotbed of meatheads otherwise known as “The Den of Douches.” Anyhoo, today was like a 60-minute long movie of why I no longer pay monthly dues here.

Leading man #1: The Ball Man. When I first spotted him, he was in the free weights section, watching himself in the mirror (of course) as he balanced on the Swiss ball on his feet. Like, standing on it. Now, while I admit I thought it was kinda cool, apparently so did he, because then he proceeded to take his little circus act around the gym against any piece of equipment of free walls space, all the while making sure everyone was watching him. I noticed he kept working his way closer and closer to the treadmill line, where (coincidently? I think not) about five girls, all around my age and head-to-toe in spandex, were running. Eventually, Brotherhood of the Traveling Ball placed his act right next to the treadmill row, strutted around a bit, then hopped on. When he was done, he picked up his ball, walked in front of the treadmills, and stared. At us. As if to pronounce “Whaddya think about that, ladies?”

Best Supporting Actor: It’s about 90 and humid here today. No matter how high the AC in the gym, it’s still pretty stuffy. So then why do guys walk around in their tee-shirts, shorts and WOOL SKULL CAP?!?!?! Bad hair cut? Premature balding? Or just a case of "Jack-Assitis?"

Heads Up
A bird almost flew in my car today. While I realize this story would be much funnier if it actually did happen, I have to admit that it came so close to my face that it made my heart stop.

And my pee leak.

A little.

And If You Still Have An Appetite…
I have a legitimate question. I am really struggling with the weight thing right now (which in part accounts for my funk) and need to get better at the whole midday eating thing. While I manage a good breakfast (high fiber cereal) and lunch (usually a turkey sandwich), I do get hungry between lunch and dinner. A LOT. Any suggestion on what to snack on that isn’t loaded with sugar or fat? I mean, something good? I eat a ton of fruit already (that one’s for you Andra) and need to break my pretzel habit, but I am out of quick, easy ideas.



Anonymous said...

fiber one bars and pringles 100 calori stix.....oh, and my ass....heres a spoon....guess who....hollla

IM Able said...

Food? Food?

I gotcha covered...

carrots with creamy peanut butter

raisin bread and chunky peanut butter and nutella

red pepper slices with hummus

red pepper slices with hummus in a pita

almonds (they ALWAYS work)

celery sticks filled with low fat whipped cream cheese

poly'o cheese sticks with apple slices

chomp on those a while. i have more... ; )

Danielle in Iowa said...

Sources tell me that I am always supposed to eat fruit with some protein, whether it be almonds or peanut butter or whatever. The new fave in my house in bananas with nutella.

Anonymous said...

fresh out of ideas on the nutrition thing. I ate pizza and vodka for dinner...mostly vodka, but its all relative right?- ellie

momo said...

wow, those suggestions are WAY better than anything i was going to come up with. although, string cheese with apples WAS one of mine. :-)

protein shake maybe?

Molly said...

I could have told you the curtains match the rug!
I have the same food/time problem...I will be checking your comments for ideas too! (already lovin the raisin bread/pbutter idea!)
Take Care

J-Wim said...

Strawberry Frosted Mini Wheats.

(Den of Douchebags...fnny!)

jessica said...

Oooh, yea, gals in my "condition" like to talk about food, you know...

*ditto on the almonds, especially good with dried cherries or a few little pieces of dark chocolate
*yogurt + granola (+ fruit optional)
*raw snap peas
*Einstein Bros. powerbagel + pb
*hard-boiled egg + salted tomatoes
*cold pasta/rice/quinoa salads
*Pumpernickel bread/bagel + cream cheese + alfalfa sprouts or watercress
*root veggie "fries" (I'll roast sticks of carrot, parsnip, sweet potato w/ olive oil and salt, then just grab a handful from fridge and eat cold)
*or 1/2 of a "nutty girl" sandwich:
blend nut of choice (cashews, almonds, walnuts, etc.) and natural applesauce in food processor (it'll keep for a couple of days in the fridge), spread on multigrain bread (something hearty), top with thin granny smith slices and a piece of cheddar -- mmmm.

Anonymous said...

why hasnt anyone echoed my ideas on nutrition? was it the vodka? - ellie

Andra Sue said...

Thanks for the nod, Megan. I'm actually hoping to eat a little fruit tonight as a bedtime snack, if I can swing it. ;)

As for other snacks, someone else has probably already covered these but:
- trail mix (I do my own and like almonds, cashews, cranberries, pineapple, banana chips)
- apple with peanut butter
- low fat string cheese sticks
- cottage cheese with pineapple or strawberries/bananas or peaches
- edamame
- Zone bar (Fudge Graham only)
- Clif Z bar
- chocolate chip COOKIEEEEEEES!

Okay, just kidding with those last two.

Tiger Lily said...

Beef Jerky or Turkey Jerky from Costco does the trick for me! Individual packs.

Thea said...

*yogurt- I like buying plain and tossing in my own natural jelly, fruit, or honey
...actually my favorite is "camping cheesecake"- vanilla yogurt, blueberries, and crunched up graham crackers (or ginger snaps).
*"ants on a log"- celery stickes *filled with peanut butter and dotted with raisins
*mozzarella, fresh tomatoes, and sliced basil
*whole wheat english muffin with peanut butter, sliced bananas, and drizzled with honey

RunBubbaRun said...

Eating healthy, what is that?

the only thing I found crazy is the good stuff is usually packed with lots of sodium.. Fig newtons, cliff bars, and peanut type stuff.. Keeps the hunger away for me..

If not, some ice cream, just work it off later.. How can you go wrong with that.

Wipaddler said...

I make my own trail mix with mixed nuts heavy on the almonds, craisens a little bit of granola and peanut butter M&M's.

Otherwise I make up bags of veggies every week 7 bags that have to be gone by sunday. Broccoli really does fill you up! I also don't buy crap food any more. well usually. I cleaned out all of my cabinets and gave it to one of the mom's at work. 2 bags of empty calories!

tri-dogmom said...

apple and PB. SO filling! You just need to pre-scoop the PB or you'll eat half a har like me :-)

I also love cucumbers... basically no calories!

Flatman said...

Pee leakage is never good. ever.

Try some raw carrots, broccoli and cauliflower as a snack. You have to eat a lot, but it will fill you up eventually... ditto on the almonds too.

Kathleen said...

I'm still stuck on the fudge graham Zone bars. Mid morning & afternoon. I am an addict.

One of the main reasons for going to the gym in the a.m. is that its much less of a meat market than in the evenings. I CAN'T stand the guys walking around all arrogant and the girls in their tiny clothes and bouncy ponytails and makeup. Yuck.

Alili said...

This post should come with a warning...I spit out my beverage-luckily it didn't come out my nose.

I keep yogurt and oatmeal packets in my office to nosh on. Apples with PB are always tasty too.

Erin said...

You seriously kill me. Funny, funny girl.

As for the food, I think one key thing that I try to do (and often with not enough luck) is to eat lots of mini-meals throughout the day. For example, a typical weekday for me looks like this:
*2 hard boiled eggs for breakfast, (or, if I'm doing a big workout that afternoon, a breakfast weakness)
*Sugar-free yogurt about 10:30
*protein shake or soup for lunch after afternoon workout
*sugar-free jello or pudding about 2 pm.
*A couple handfuls of nuts about 4pm.
*A mini-bottle of chocolate milk after post-work workout

Other snacks I love? String cheese, TLC crackers with hummus or laughing cow cheese, trail mix, pepper slices and hummus, whole wheat tortilla with cheese (melted in micro and rolled up -- don't knock it until you've tried it).

As for the fruit, not sure how others feel about this, but I rarely eat it. Grapes sometimes, and orange here or there, otherwise, I've found that if I eat too much fruit, 3 things happen: 1) bloat, 2) fruit replaces veggies, and 3) sugar cravings for other sweet things increase. But maybe that's just me...

Anonymous said...

First response to this post, is holy shit, did you make me laugh out loud today!!!!

Between curtains matching, 13 yr old staches' and unibrows, peeing a little on yourself, and then a frickin bird! God...I can visual you reacting to each of those situations...damn girl you crack me up.

I'll post again with my thought on food, b/c lately I feel like I have a 'food baby' too.

Fave said...

well my immediate suggestion ws already said, but i will reiterate.
they even come in 100 calorie packs so you can more easily track your calories just by adding up how many bags you eat in each sitting.

Prin said...

As I sit here eating my sausage with mayo on it reading these comments, I'm wondering if a healthy life is worth living at all. :D

I like the hard boiled egg idea. And maybe put some mayo in there, you know, mash it in and make devilled eggs! Yey!

Ok, so it's fatty, but still!

My other suggestion is chocolate.

Or just going for lunch again.

Or you could just fill up on milk. It's heavy, it's vitaminy, and it makes you feel relaxed and sleepy. :D

As for the rest?

Curtains and rug? I was actually living my life pretty fine without that knowledge.

Hair? I agree. Wtf is going on? What, do they expect me to shave twice a day or something? (They being the fur...)

Anal and mechanics: Why can't they ever be honest and good at the same time? :(

Leading man #1: Ew.

Supporting actor: S'up bra. *thumps chest*

Birds are stupid.

There. I think I covered everything.

Oh, and hot chocolate with whipped cream. That helps me out in a jam too. :D

Collin said...

Found your blog through Krista's blog (, and you are absolutely HILARIOUS! I do have a question, though. When I'm in the locker room, I make it a point to never look at another guys junk. How is it that you saw Big Red (which men like to call Fire Crotch)?

Thea said...

Just found this one from my
A 2004 study found chocolate milk to be basically as effective as Gatorade for recovery after exercise.