Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

As my sister says, I gotta "peace-out" for a couple of days. I am staying in the suburbs tomorrow with a friend to help with my crazy commute, and then Thursday my friend is coming in from out of town, so I most likely won't get chance to post until Friday.

But here's a funny story to leave you with -

So I am driving down I88 to Aurora today (round trip from home is over 100 miles - awesome). And I88 is like the Indy 500, but with a lot more soccer moms in big-ass Suburbans (how fitting) and corporate male imbeciles with slicked back hair in suits and on the their way to a "client meeting" that blow past you in their Audi's if you are going slower than 90, and then turn to look at you as if to say, "You deserve to be sentenced to some Autobahn hell" and you look back, wanting to scream, "Yeah, well I'm a doctor!" and pray that you make it to your destination going 65 in the far right lane for fear your tiny will car will explode if you go any faster. Assholes.

Anyhoo. So this particular moment, I actually had to pass someone, so I quickly switched to the middle lane. And it was right at that moment that my car decided to SHUT OFF. Seriously. The car actually shut itself off. Like it was Kit from Knight Rider. There was this jerky movement - then it slowed and just started to roll. In the middle of traffic. On a major toll road. By the time I figured out what was going on, I was basically just rolling down the lane while these cars are literally zipping by my head like bullets.

I managed to think quick (saved only for emergency) and jumped a lane to get to the shoulder, where I turned the key to manually shut the car off (as it clearly no longer needed me to be driving it and - god forbid - making decisions about it's actions) and waited. I got really nervous, and started to rub the dashboard, cooing sweet-nothings with promises of regular washes and premium fuel if she would just this once - just once - kick back in.

And then my thoughts were in this order - "Oh F-it! Now I'm going to be late...Of course, my car is now officially 15 miles over the 100,000 mile marker when the warranty runs out....Crap that semi is going to suck me under - Geesh!!!!!!...Yeah, 'eff you right back Mister Audi - my idling shoulder-bound car is of no consequence on your lateness - try waking up earlier next time and by the way, 1985 called and it wants it's crappy hair gel back." Gross. And all that within about three seconds, after which I decided to turn the car on.

To my surprise it started. And I made it to work on time (although I then proceeded to get my self lost and ended up two towns over, but no worries). And then I also made it home without incident. So alls well that ends well. Or whatever.

So until Thursday, I'll leave you with the image of me helpless in the middle lane of a major toll road with the traffic roaring by, and my car shutting itself off. Woa is me.

And just wait - WAIT - till you hear about my new toothbrush. It's magical. Just wait.