So today was a treat.
And by treat, I mean mental torture.
The day started with uber-excitement about riding outside - excitement that was cut short in it's prime about 20 minutes into the ride, when it was so cold, my fingers felt like they were being repeatedly slammed in a door jam. Usually I can deal with finger coldness (it is Chicago after all) but today was different. The pain of the cold was literally making me physically ill, and it starting shooting up my forearms, so supporting myself on my bars became problematic. The rest of me was fine, more appropriately clothed and covered, but I guess maybe I need better gloves. Or new hands.
So I left Larry to fend for himself for the rest of the ride, and pedaled my sorry-ass back home. Defeated (yes, that quick - I really do go from "I'm cold" to "I'll never finish this race, I quit" in the time it takes most people to take a piss), I disrobed my layered attire, packed the swim bag, and went to the gym. All good so far, until I was standing IN THE POOL with my gear on, and I actually got right back out and went home. Seriously. You know how they say that you just have to get the suit on and get in the pool and the battle's over, you might as well swim? Yeah, not so much today. In fact, the suit was only wet to my waist, and I was out of the gym so quick that I managed to benefit from the "first hour free" parking in the garage where I parked. So bonus!
I did, however, redeem myself, by coming home and biking the session that I should have done yesterday while watching last night's Grey's Anatomy and being disappointed that Meredith lived. Yeah, she's my least favorite - sorry.
Frankly, I can't even wax poetic tonight about this stage in training. I could talk again about burnout (which I refuse to admit I have) or about overtraining and needing a break (which I have taken plenty of this recovery week). I have been feeling lately that I am giving Training a bad rap because I have been shit-talking it to the point that the Training wants to meet me behind the school at 3PM, but I should reiterate that I love, love love Training - sometimes, it's my own little feeble mind that gets in the way. That has, by far, been the biggest obstacle in this whole thing. My body seems to be handling it, and for the most part, I have managed these last few months with only minor problems (aside from the knee). Ahh, but the mind - it can be troublesome at times - both my best friend and my worst enemy.
So I think today I am just going to chalk it up to "Some days you're on, some days you're off." Today I was off, but perhaps tomorrow will be a different story. I am hoping that these mental blocks are normal at this point in training, particularly for first timers. And the craziness of it all? I believe, without a doubt, that I will finish this race. There's no question. I just need to make it through the training...