Sidetracked

So I was totally going to make a huge confession tonight on the post, but I feel a little bummed and distracted because I did a ride today (in the trainer of course), and darn if this injury didn't pop up after only five minutes. I immediately got my phone, called the physical therapist and was like, "Get me in!!!"

I also didn't tell my coach, because a couple weeks ago, he referred to my knee injury and flu as "complications," but the way he phrased it made me think he thought I was whining. I just felt really shamed (my own issue, most likely) so I didn't tell him. I just had to send him an email to fill him in because my physical therapist would have anyway. Great.

See the thing about this training is this: the longest distances I have trained for have been a stand-alone marathon (twice) and a half-IM (twice), though the half-IM training was really just me deciding how far and how hard I wanted to go on any given day. This structured, high intensity and regular workouts can be really traumatizing to a body, I have discovered, and truth be told, I mostly (aside from the knee) feel great. I love this, am totally addicted to it, and can't imagine stopping. In fact, my little brother just called me from TN, and he asked me if this was going to be my only IM, and my response was , "Hell no. This is just the beginning of what I hope to be a long and glorious relationship with the M-Dot." To which he responded, "So are you ever going to get married?" And the funniest thing happened - the phone just went dead before I could respond. Oops. Oh well.

Just kidding, I didn't hang up, but, as a 30 year old female, I get that question more than you could actually imagine in this day and age. But I stopped and thought for a second before I rattled off my usual "Everyone makes choices in their lives, and just because you chose to get married and have kids does not mean it's the best and only option" spiel I usually reserve for my overly-disapproving aunts and cousins who never fail to give me that sad-eyed, sympathetic half-smile and slight head nod when this topic arises, as if I just told them both of my legs fell victim to a flesh-eating parasite and were going to be amputated the next morning. Oh, and these would also be the same cousins who are, by the way, all married and mothered and unhappy, but I'm not judging.

Marriage - I have never really planned on it, and honestly, after spending eight years in grad school while all my friends got to go do their own things, I am finally free to do mine, and I kinda want to be selfish. That's not to say I would never get married, and I certainly look forward to being in a relationship, but I really like my "Megan time" right now. And when the right person does come along (that sounds so 1950s), I hope that the person would support this little vice of mine and maybe even be into it themselves.

So I just totally re-read all that, and wow, did I get sidetracked. Well, that's par for the course today. There are no real straight lines in my life, I guess. Perhaps once I eat dinner I might wander back to the blog and post my nagging little secret. Maybe.