Wednesday, February 7, 2007

The Moment You've All Been Waiting For

So here he is, making his Project Procrastination debut. Introducing Baby Nolan!Now, if I were a bettin' woman, I would bet that the thought process happening here is this:

Nolan: Hmm, now the last time I was able to cut the transition time from feeding to poopy by two minutes....this time around I feel a bit slow, but maybe I haven't gotten my kicking legs back fast enough, and the kicking does help move things along...

Ellen: Hi baby! Hi Baby! Whose a good baby? Whose a good baby? Who made stinkies?

Nolan: So if I could just keep kicking through the feeding, it might help cut down the time even more, so I can just slide into the nap even quicker. Form, man, it's all about the form. See, I knew Baby Sam over in the nursery was just talking smack, cause there is no way he can make that transition in less then three minutes. No Way! Ooh, these extra padding, non-chafe Pampers feel awfully nice...

Ellen: Oh, big stinkies! Let's get you cleaned up there we go, here's some ointment...and a wipe...and we're all done! That's my little boy, now let's get you down for a nap so mommy can sleep too!

Nolan: So that's the game plan. Kick through feeding, poopy and then nap. Man, I keep training like this and there'll be no stopping me by the time I reach age-group on the playground. Yo mom! What's up with this blanket? We outta foils again? Geesh, and I asked for a "silicon" cap - this wool is gonna create some serious drag! Sigh. So much to teach them.

So that's how I think it goes down. Or at least if it were my kid it would. But no matter what Baby Nolan is in to (sports, music, drag racing) I'll love him no matter what. How could you not?

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