Checklist

Things seen on the Chicago lakefront during my long run (attempt):

1. The backs of a family of four pedaling one of those bike-made-for-four (as they passed me).

2. A girl running with a full face of make-up (hey, I'll all about looking cute out there, but make up? No joke that it was like, 90 and humid. Too bad I didn't stay out there long enough to see her on the turn around - I bet that shit would have looked AWESOME when it melted down her face).

3. Girls running in pants (see aforementioned comment).

4. Life guards - now that's the kind of job I need - stand around, looking bored while getting a great tan and people watching. It's genuis.

5. A woman riding a bike in her bikini. Now, here's the thing - I may or may not have used my bikini for alternative purposes (i..e. underwear) at various times in my life, but I can securely say I have never doubled it as workout gear. Seriously, people. And ever notice that, while in, say, South Beach, the women doing this are like these hot Brazilian model types with big fake boobs and long flowing hair. But alas, here at Oak Street Beach in Chicago, they're all like 65, wrinkly and leatherly with stringy white hair and God only knows what the waxing situation might be. Ah, life. So unfair to the eyes sometimes.

6. Dads pushing strollers or riding bikes with their offspring. Yeah....I have no sarcastic comment for this one - in fact, it pretty much warmed my stone cold heart. Good stuff.

7. Lots and lots of campers - as in, the 5-8 year olds and their counselors heading to the beach. Ah, I remember the days of my Chicago Park District free summer camps excursions. My mom used to pack our lunches in brown bags 'cause we were, well, broke, and she would wrap our soda in tin foil, as if to try and keep it cold when it was 98 degrees and we were forced to walked three miels in the blistering sun to the Gompers Pool. Oddly, it never did keep the soda cold, and the heavy can always smashed the bag of Fritos and the PB&J sandwich so all the jelly squished out of the sides.

8. The Summer catalog model crew for Abercrombie and Fitch - and not becuase I was looking, but because all eight of them seemed to miss the yellow divider line on the running/biking path by North Avenue beach, so they put their four brain cells together and took up the ENTIRE path, northbound and southbound. Sigh. It must be nice to be good looking and unaccountable for your stupidity.


And do you know what all of these people saw in return?


1. A bright-pink-faced, 30-something year old who was gasping for air, taking periodic walk breaks and yet still getting slower with each 1/2 mile, but was at least smart enough to leave all her IM-labled stuff at home so as not to tarnish the reputation of race accomplishment by her embarressment of a run today.


So, uh, yeah.

I guess that means that jokes on me.