Sunday, January 7, 2007

Dog-Eat-Dog World

Holy procrastination Batman! I have so much work to do right now, but every five minutes or so, I have been getting up, checking my email, eating another snack, watching some tv (ever seen "Flip That House?" Addicted, I am). Right now Dynamite D is in the other room watching "The Wedding Planner" (you know, that gem of a movie with Jenny From The Block that for some crazy reason got overlooked in the Oscar race - What is the world coming to when J-Lo can't even win a gold statue?!?!?! Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got). I am even considering watching it with her just to avoid work. That, my friends, is how serious the procrastination is today.

The thought did cross my mind to maybe swim, but then I thought better of it when I thought about the cold pool and having to put on my bathing suit. Brrrr.

Oh, we did take the dogs to the dog park, which is not really smart to do four days after their trip to the groomers and a few days after much rainfall here - the two factors make for a muddy visit that ended with a cold hose in the alley behind the house, but I digress. So we are at the park, and TJ, who is by-and-large THE most friendly dog in the whole world, ended up going head to head with this fat, grumpy bulldog. We pulled him away, and he ran off happily, chasing down his tennis ball and sprinkling himself on all available trees. Eventually, the bulldog and his owner (equally grumpy) start to leave, and TJ goes over to sniff him out again (because that's what dogs do - humans give the "Manhattan once-over," dogs sniff butts) and they go at it again.

So I run over, and the guy starts yelling at me, "Can't we just leave, can't we just leave? I just want to leave." And I was like, "Well, did you ask my dog nicely?" (just kidding, I just pulled TJ away and let the guy leave). But what I really thought was: 1.) Dude, you're like 40, stop whining and, 2.) Dude, they are dogs, this is a dog park, and yours is the one on the leash, so you clearly have more control - by all means, leave.

The way I see it is that TJ gets along with just about every single dog there is in the world, maybe except for, like, two. If your dog and my dog are having problems, chances are it's because your dog is C-R-A-Z-Y and needs some doggie therapy. And chances are that if the dog needs therapy, so does the owner. So to all those crazy dog owners: here's my card, call me when you are ready to come to terms with your childhood.

Just kidding.
Sort of.


Anonymous said...

funny stuff

Anonymous said...

this shit keeps on getting better and better keep writing please