I woke up today with what feels like the beginnings of the flu (complete with some awesome chest pressure and wheezing), put on my spanky heels and best funeral attire and headed out the door for my final job interview. By final, I mean it is third of three for a really, super duper, awesome position (which I am not sure if I can really say what it is on a blog - oohhh, that sounds so CIA). But suffice to say that it is a great job. And by 1230 today, it became MY JOB.
So I'm a little excited. Can you tell? I actually started crying in the car on the way home. Crying. Over a new job. I guess it' just that, after almost 8 years of scrapping and scrambling to make ends meet, watching your would-be down payment for a condo deplete in the name of student loan payments, living off-and-on with other people because you can't swing rent and depending on everybody just to help you get by, things start to get sort of dismal and you wonder, nearly every day, "What the eff did I do this for?"
To be totally honest, though, I am not even that excited about the money aspect (although it will be nice not to try to buy a week of groceries on your last $20.73). It's more about feeling like I can finally do a job, like I have something to contribute, and a difference to make. Knowing that I might actually be worth something, or at least something that other people see as good and valuable. Feeling like all that work, all that sacrifice means something.
Mostly though, I just turned thirty, yet I feel like this is finally the beginning of my adulthood. For so long I have been a student (in some ways I always will be) and always with a supervisor (again, will still have one) but it's different now. Now people will be looking to me for answers. Weird, right? I still feel like a fraud with the "Dr." in front of my name, but my (former) supervisor told me that will eventually go away. Hope so.
So that's that. I didn't get home until late from the interview, but I managed to squeeze in some water running and a short ride, and also treated myself to a steam. Love - Love- the steam room. Like laying on a beach, I tell ya. And speaking of that, AZ plans continue to take form, and the next step is working on a car rental. At least it gives me something to do this weekend downtime while I wait for next week's Superbowl. Bear down!